290: Princess Cupcake Sparkles of Death

Yet again, an episode is released 2 weeks after it’s recorded. We start the show right off with tricksy Victoria who transitions from “Thanks Obama” to a black burger in Japan. This leads to an ebola mention and a discussion about 9/11. We’re not supposed to forget what happened in September 2011 but we did and we’re sorry. Either way, don’t use your brand to post about 9/11. We’re looking at you, Twix. It’s even too soon to make Arizona under water jokes on December 7th.

Speaking of terrorists, Victoria is not sure why the world is at war with Archer. They’re just trying to sell some cocaine. Give them some funding, they’ll be fine. Scotland. That’s a thing that happened. We discuss this before the vote and agree that Scotland needs to stay in the UK until they get their shit together.

BBQ weekend (aka Labor Day Weekend) was sweet! We played games, spent time with family, had some great food, some beer, and it was loads of fun. Victoria has a new hairdo and it looks awesome on her! To celebrate, let’s have some dirty gay porn! Send yours to uncast.net@gmail.com or simply read it to her at 619-940-4SEX!

We get into booktalk starting with VWars which Daniel liked but didn’t love. He’s also reading Raymond E. Feist’s “Magician” and Joe Abercrombie’s “The Blade Itself.” Victoria is getting into Haruki Murakami and started with “Norwegian Wood” which she loved. She also read “The Knife of Never Letting Go” by Patrick Ness. It’s harsh and intense for a book aimed at young teens. She loves “We Were Liars” by E. Lockhart. We won’t talk about it. Just read it. She also read “The Alchemist” which no one should read (which is why we don’t link to it). It’s a parable about a kid and living your dreams but it’s too unrealistic for those who didn’t grow up in a financially affluent situation.

The rest of the episode is crazy articles time! Links are below:
Two men arrested at same-sex marriage in Egypt, “test negative” for homosexuality. There’s a test for that now?
T
he Latest Weapon In The Fight Against Antibiotic Resistance Lives In The Vagina
Dominatrix speaking at Canadian Senate committee threatens to out politicians who use sex services if new backwards arse Conservative prostitution bill goes through.
Blundering IT worker who put his porn stash on city centre big screen is jailed
San Diego Unified School district now has a military vehicle to deal with truancies and miscreants

289: Filling All Your Churros
“It’s okay to take advantage of a sleeping churro!”

Recorded August 23rd and released today. We briefly mention Ferguson and we discuss the passing of Robin Williams. THAT is how long it’s been. We apologize. Also, since we’re releasing this during National Suicide Prevention Week, so I must put this here. 1-800-273-8255. If life ever becomes too much, give that number a call. We also discuss the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge and the good that it has done while it was viral. We look forward to seeing similar viral campaigns to bring awareness to health issues that could also use a bit more understanding from the general public and funding for research and support.

Let’s get to the fun shit! We enjoyed our 15th Wedding Anniversary last month. It was an epic night of Eclipse Chocolate for dinner (eat dessert first!) followed by Stone beer and Brabant for cocktails. Victoria also discovers a major secret that Andrea has been keeping from her. Stephen Fry classes up sucking one’s own cock. On the same note, Norwich City beat Ipswich Town to win the first leg of the East Anglia derby. We discuss absinthe and something that brings up why Sarah McLachlan is music’s Michael Vick. This may be due to Victoria being on the 4th beer in the day and she starts interrupting with random tunes.

Victoria got a new haircut. We went to BNS Brewery. Also known as Klan State Brewniversity. They don’t call 9-1-1. So, don’t have a heart attack or choke. They will shoot you. We did go to Urbn St Brewing though and they have our favorite pizza in San Diego county BY FAR. Their IPA is also one of the best in a county known for an over-abundance.

We got a Lootcrate that included a Funko GROOT doll. We took the in-laws to Puesto and Daniel got himself a very fine hat. We also found Kitson, which – Like Babette Schwartz – is one of those stores where you see a million things you want but nothing you truly NEED. Flame eater talks too much. Victoria wants to start a new version of Cards Against Humanity because our regular set, even with 4 expansions, is starting to get old. So she’s created a new way to play.

288: My Girlfriend, The Internet

Daniel is joined this week by satan and a shark. Lots to go over, since we hadn’t recorded in a while. This includes Comic-Con, Pride Parade, and stupid Facebook games. Oh and beer. We never forget the beer.

Andrea is enjoying our beautiful country. Entry was especially pleasurable. There were movies, concerts, food, beer, and nerds. Daniel ashamedly gets Mario Batalli restaurants confused with Guy Fieri restaurants. We discuss Victoria’s ‘thing’ for wanting to either fuck or marry foods.

Sierra Nevada’s Beer Camp was epic fun and Daniel cements his place as the God of San Diego for the weekend. We jump into Comic-Con International week and more epic was in store from HopCon to Wootstock and Sherlocked to the Thrilling Adventure Hour. We even stopped over to meet a famous author and get a book signed or something.

Facebook is pissing us all off. First, there’s this year’s breast cancer awareness game. Then there’s stupid quizzes. Then it’s all up in my business. Let’s get out our rage on some movies. Introducing, Snowpiercer. Hey look! It’s a movie whose porn parody doesn’t need to change names. Then they saw Hercules. We found our porn title. Hercules: Snow Piercer.

287: Nerds and Beer

We start right off with Victoria’s obsession with gay sex. Comic-Con is upon us and we have a great blog post for staying safe there or at any ‘con. Because we recorded this prior to Comic-Con, we discuss our plans for the week. We enjoy some beers of the week before talking sports for a moment. Daniel traded a monitor for jalapenos. Insert bad sports team jokes here.

We talk about  the Ketchup Mustard Crack Girl. One of us thinks it’s funny. The other is appalled. Which are you? Daniel was also guest hosted a great podcast “Chronic Chronicles” as a caregiving expert, and we both prepare for an Italian invasion as Andrea visits us again. This is exactly one hour long.

286: Muricka and Blergum

We recorded this on the Fourth of July. ‘Mericka! Fuhyah! #Fail #Unblessed. Did you back Reading Rainbow? We did! Over $5 million is awesome. We’re excited that it’ll be coming back. We talk about books for a bit. We get into July 4th and Daniel likens U.S. involvement in both world wars (WWI and WWII) to opening a jar. Victoria thinks Omaha Beach would’ve been a perfect spot for a romantic picnic. #Crazy. What filter would you use? #Instagram. We have no filters for our mouths.

We had birthdays! #GettinOld They were filled with maple bacon donuts, beer, Waves, Five Guys, Double IPAs, cocktails, pool parties, more beer, and The Perch.#Awesome Congrats, MrDaH! #Impressed As if he needed such a thing, Fleshlight has found a way for you to fuck your porn. They call it: The Launch Pad. #Creepy This breaks out into a discussion on various sex toys and penis size. #Judgment

We had a great trip to Arizona. #HotAsHell Even the trips there and back were a blast. #MoreHeatPuns We had a taste of Andrew’s beer before he released it officially as Perch Brewery beer. We met some awesome new people and had a great night of food and cocktails to celebrate Victoria’s birthday. The other high point was drinking Perch beer while playing Rock Band. The low point was having to listen to/watch Sex & The City while I tried to watch the USA vs Portugal World Cup match on the laptop. #CantLiveWithoutEm

There’s a new fitness tracker that’s “Fitbit for your vagina.” #ThatsHawt Introducing, the KGoal. Victoria is enamored and wants to prove herself. Donations can be made by clicking the button at Uncast.net. You have 30 days. Moving on to possible birthday celebration events for her dad, it’s come down to two horse-mask choices: NHL hockey game or strip club? #NOPE

As we discuss a story of a drunk man letting his dog drive him to the store for corn, Victoria becomes increasingly drunk with alarming speed. #BeerSex We discuss USA’s run in the World Cup and how maybe we should have brought Landon Donovan. We could’ve maybe used someone who can score. End result, Americans actually give a shit about soccer. Those who don’t, are wrong.

Victoria wants you to tell her your favorite summer movie. We discuss other movies and Guardians of the Galaxy. It fades from there.

 

285b: Meatloaf Farts

Starting off the next half, let’s just say this bottle of Stone Cali-Belgique was not what we remembered. The NBA and NHL Finals just ended and we discuss. Why? Because why the hell not. Miami has an interesting mascot, the Habs cartoon description is a bit interesting, and this is where Victoria stops paying attention, hence the title. Here is the link.

The Ballad of Raft Fucker continues. If you don’t watch Game of Thrones, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?! I swear there’s no corelation between those two things. It just happened. (HSFE) HODOR. Mad Men is fucking awesome as well. Watch that too.
Vivi went to two concerts in the same week: Lady Gaga and Wanda Jackson. We learned a few things. First, Vivi says no to pants whiskey. Second, alcohol doesn’t really burn her anymore. Before Wanda Jackson, we went out to the Aero Bar for scotch tasting. SO MANY CHOICES! Spicy maple bacon mixed nut brittle. Make it happen. It keeps away the green puppies. Or something. I don’t know. I was at church.

Victoria tells the tale of the drug cat song she sang for Cinnamon. And you doubt TD4W?! Speaking of, Victoria came with an Awesome List. El Gran Viaje del Senor Caca? and quick note, Butch (DJ BrotherDarkness) is now known as @TheButchRosser on twitter and not the old name he gives on the show.

285a: Code Magenta 4 What!?

This one went so long, we had to split it into two episodes.

WARNING: This show is full of #TD4W and begins with Victoria taking selfies instead of hosting the show. This is balanced out as the show gets better the longer we go. We visited more breweries this week and we think we’ve found our Official Summer Beer of Uncast for 2014? Don’t agree with us? Then YOU pick somethin!

Victoria creates two brothels and we negotiate deals for said brothels. We discuss the etymology of “The Bees Knees.” Then there’s this thing about this little street taco shop called Puesto. Best tacos in San Diego, awesome tequila (half price when someone scores) and the best rice & beans ever. Even their salsa and chips are worth noting.

Another thing worth noting: Butch has been getting LAID. It’s all in the vibe, law of attraction, and all that stuffs. Speaking of, is there hotel code for when someone leaves the hotel between 3-7am alone who wasn’t alone earlier? Strangely this leads to another Victoria sex worker kickstarter. This one oddly comes “third hand.” New Hobo Code.

What do you do when your name is Crystal Metheny? Listen and find out or click that link there. This of course naturally seques into beer number two, Rough Draft Amber Ale. Who cares about the World Cup? Who are you rooting for? Victoria picks ‘em by hotness. Butch is rooting for Italy (free tequila) and Ghana (cause why not, amiright ladies?) Yeah guess who’s already out by the time this airs.

Moving on, we have Jason Mamoa cast as Aquaman. This naturally segues us into the man who can’t seem to stop getting “intimate” with pool rafts. Does sex with an inflatable doll also constitute a crime? This of course, leads Victoria to a new business idea. This leads to the rest of us washing our brains out with more beer. It’s also where we end part one of this episode.

Starting off the next half, let’s just say this bottle of Stone Cali-Belgique was not what we remembered. The NBA and NHL Finals just ended and we discuss. Why? Because why the hell not. Miami has an interesting mascot, the Habs cartoon description is a bit interesting, and this is where Victoria stops paying attention, hence the title.

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