As you may be able to tell from the title, watch the first step. This show’s a doozy. We start off with narcophilia before moving on to Victoria forcing her vagina to read. No not teaching, forcing. We discuss cartoons that aren’t just for kids, Daniel creates his yearly geeky twist on the NCAA Bracket. Let’s just say this year tops last year.

256: My Illiterate Vagina

We discover war dolphins that went AWOL for bottlenose poon, golden showers aren’t for us, keeping a whore journal, Victoria’s whacky teen bucket list, our game night with Becky and Victoria’s shower Bane. Yes, the Batman villain. We end with time travel and the stump amendment. Don’t question it. Just listen.

203: Licketty Shit

Recorded April 2nd. We start the show right off with talk of hair metal talk. This is where Victoria learned her lesbian side. She liked the most girly hair bands and fell for the most girly members of the bands. The whores then go all “Bloodhound Gang” for the Nelson brothers. I even the score by outing my true Metallica fan history.

We go into school history including a bad dye job and getting kicked out of class. We briefly mention April Fool’s Day and move on to Rebecca Black. Rhian brings us Whore News, this time involving a MAN of the night! Gerard Butler gives HIS dick for free! Speaking of whores, we saw a couple of real messes at the pool in the Casa Complex.

The girls perform a test to see who’s boobs are bigger. We all advocate Uncast Parties. They then try to use Rhian’s moans as bribe to get anything Victoria wants. This quickly fails. Instead, we need to get Rhian some more long, uber soft, light pajama pants with lace trim at the bottom like La Senza used to sell. We discuss food servers: their looks and their manners. This stems from a shitty experience we had at our local El Torito. Victoria falls and we abruptly end the show without plugs or marketing or any of the like.

202: Crotchless Basket

It’s Universary 4 bitches! We’ve got tons of guests both old and new, it was Super Moon that night, there was lots of drinks flowing and great Victoria cooked foods as always and of course a show. The show begins with a HUGE announcement: Butch was not going to be there. Well, okay that wasn’t the real announcement but he really didn’t show.

On the show we grabbed a bunch of questions, asked them of everyone and got the conversation going that way. Turns out from our last party show, that’s a great way to keep a show going when you have 10-15 drunk guests on the show all at once. Daniel learns some shit from a podcast, Victoria has a very short Awesome List, Rhian has whore news as always and there’s a shared sexual fantasy that you have to hear to believe. Listen and you might even hear a point when it all got to be just a bit too much.

199: Nahmean?

It’s Valentine’s Day Weekend (as of recording) and Rhian is still in house. We go through some Valentine’s advice from Ghostface Killah and our weekend of love together. We discuss the Grammy Awards and the creepiness that filled the entire evening. Victoria introduces us to the Gathering of the Gagas. Why does this exist?!

The Super Bowl was earlier this month. No one cares now, but apparently someone still did. Victoria discovers “Letters of Note” and shares a few favorites. It’s not a Rhi episode without Whore News and Rhian doesn’t disappoint. First, a Thai airline recruits ladyboy flight attendants and a Naughty message was found on kid’s V-Day candy. We end by asking if Carrie Underwood is the next Yoko Ono. How often are we going to hear talk about someone as the next Yoko?!

198: Nobody Wants The Daytime Stripper

Rhian joins us again this week and we start right off with a question: Would you marry an over the hill stripper if you can have an all expenses paid trip to Vegas? Let us know! We drink a pretty decent American Belgian-Style Ale this week and our whores end up on glitter knees over it. Groundhog’s Day is flawed and we describe why. There’s music from the breakup of The White Stripes to the evolution of Wheelchair Jimmy to a man called Drake.

Someone told Jay-Z and Willow Smith that producing another version of Annie was a great idea in 2011. That musical’s not dated at all. We predict the Super Bowl and move on to a few articles born from failure (I’m Married But Still A Virgin and D&D Threatens Prison Security) and dumb luck (Victim Treats Mugger Right). It wouldn’t be a Rhian episode without some Whore News (or at least some whoring) and she brings us two this week. First is a story of a Woman Arrested For Mooning Cops and how a Tattoo On A Penis Won A Man A Car. This is a short one (under 51 minutes) so enjoy!

197: Rumors

Rhian joins us again and Victoria tries to derail us right off with Juggalo talk. We talk about beer a bit and review the Golden Globes. Hint: snore. We discuss our 2nd Christmas, dubbed “Rhi-mas” and our visits to a couple local pubs we love: O’Brien’s Pub in Kearny Mesa and Phileas Fogg’s Pub in Poway. Victoria had a zombie dream and the girls discuss a homemade fleshlight. Rhian brings in some whore news about a man suing an escort service and a woman rubbing one out in a van. Victoria brings us an Awesome List! One paragraph of notes for an hour, 25 minute episode.

196: That’s What Rhi Said

Rhian is back in Cali! We enjoy some beer together and record together in person for the first time in about 9 months. We start off with Victoria craving ginger. We discuss Rhian’s trip and our first few days together. The girls discuss a horrible new show, “Live to Dance”.

Daniel comes strong with some more things he learned from podcasts and we all come out of it a little stronger and a little wiser. We pay hommage to Butch and discuss how Firefly and Mad Men are so similar they may just be the same show. How is this an hommage to Butch? Check out episode 7! All three parts. We review three movies we recently saw and will be reviewing more to come as this is the winter of movies. Victoria brings us the ten things not to say on Twitter after sex and Rhi contributes some whore news. This is sizable at two hours and 56 seconds of awesome.