290: Princess Cupcake Sparkles of Death

Yet again, an episode is released 2 weeks after it’s recorded. We start the show right off with tricksy Victoria who transitions from “Thanks Obama” to a black burger in Japan. This leads to an ebola mention and a discussion about 9/11. We’re not supposed to forget what happened in September 2011 but we did and we’re sorry. Either way, don’t use your brand to post about 9/11. We’re looking at you, Twix. It’s even too soon to make Arizona under water jokes on December 7th.

Speaking of terrorists, Victoria is not sure why the world is at war with Archer. They’re just trying to sell some cocaine. Give them some funding, they’ll be fine. Scotland. That’s a thing that happened. We discuss this before the vote and agree that Scotland needs to stay in the UK until they get their shit together.

BBQ weekend (aka Labor Day Weekend) was sweet! We played games, spent time with family, had some great food, some beer, and it was loads of fun. Victoria has a new hairdo and it looks awesome on her! To celebrate, let’s have some dirty gay porn! Send yours to uncast.net@gmail.com or simply read it to her at 619-940-4SEX!

We get into booktalk starting with VWars which Daniel liked but didn’t love. He’s also reading Raymond E. Feist’s “Magician” and Joe Abercrombie’s “The Blade Itself.” Victoria is getting into Haruki Murakami and started with “Norwegian Wood” which she loved. She also read “The Knife of Never Letting Go” by Patrick Ness. It’s harsh and intense for a book aimed at young teens. She loves “We Were Liars” by E. Lockhart. We won’t talk about it. Just read it. She also read “The Alchemist” which no one should read (which is why we don’t link to it). It’s a parable about a kid and living your dreams but it’s too unrealistic for those who didn’t grow up in a financially affluent situation.

The rest of the episode is crazy articles time! Links are below:
Two men arrested at same-sex marriage in Egypt, “test negative” for homosexuality. There’s a test for that now?
T
he Latest Weapon In The Fight Against Antibiotic Resistance Lives In The Vagina
Dominatrix speaking at Canadian Senate committee threatens to out politicians who use sex services if new backwards arse Conservative prostitution bill goes through.
Blundering IT worker who put his porn stash on city centre big screen is jailed
San Diego Unified School district now has a military vehicle to deal with truancies and miscreants

228: A Bowl Of Dick Hats

Daniel and Victoria return from a Wedding weekend away in Sacramento, celebrating the union of our dear friends and listeners, Rachel & Victor. We start the show with Victoria wanting to create a French Beck cover band and wanting to be the modern day real life Cinderella. We have two beers of the week and we discuss some of the awesome foods that would work with them. This leads to a chocolate tasting, including a peanut butter and jelly bar that starts a sandwich discussion and somehow leads into the wedding weekend.

Rhian rants about the Duggars and their travels which leads to our own rants about people who have more kids than they can either afford or care for.  Victoria brings us an article about how beastiality leads to penis cancer and other STDs! Listener Junkenstein introduces us to Dick Hats and we segue that nicely into Victoria’s latest Awesome List! We top off the episode with Rhian’s Whore News as parents speak against an ex-porn star reading to their children.

Rachel’s back for another week and we start right off with Dork Korner. This is our little turn at hitting the switch on the Wayback Machine and seeing who has some of the dorkiest likes or memories. Yeah I just said Wayback Machine. Did I mention it was Dork Korner? OK now you get it. We’re deeply disappointed in a recent Air Canada Lawsuitwhich brings on plenty of language related discussion.We also go into Canada’s very careful preparations for commemorating the 200th anniversary of the War of 1812 and the role it played. If you don’t know, just ask any Canadian. They’ll gladly tell you just who it was that burned down the White House. Oh but we’re still friends so it’s all good. Victoria proposes a way to get back at GOP’s use of “Obama Care” as a negative phrase.

We discuss our morning at the Birch Aquarium, followed by lunch at Sammys Woodfired Pizza. Is it wrong to spend all morning looking at fish and then eat salmon for lunch? Photos from this adventure can be found here. No, just click the word HERE. WOW I feel like I’m back at work. OK, moving on. We discuss the new Google+, Rhian’s busy week and the now VERY distantly past MLB All-Star Game. Yeah, that’s right. I totally missed discussing it when it was relevant.

Daniel brings up a new way to make gelatin…out of HUMANS! Really, were you THAT surprised? Rhian brings us some more Whore News, this time about tips and pointers about bromances. Daniel tries to go into a story about a boner-inducing spider that rampaged a supermarket but the girls would not allow it. So he’s putting the link here.

203: Licketty Shit

Recorded April 2nd. We start the show right off with talk of hair metal talk. This is where Victoria learned her lesbian side. She liked the most girly hair bands and fell for the most girly members of the bands. The whores then go all “Bloodhound Gang” for the Nelson brothers. I even the score by outing my true Metallica fan history.

We go into school history including a bad dye job and getting kicked out of class. We briefly mention April Fool’s Day and move on to Rebecca Black. Rhian brings us Whore News, this time involving a MAN of the night! Gerard Butler gives HIS dick for free! Speaking of whores, we saw a couple of real messes at the pool in the Casa Complex.

The girls perform a test to see who’s boobs are bigger. We all advocate Uncast Parties. They then try to use Rhian’s moans as bribe to get anything Victoria wants. This quickly fails. Instead, we need to get Rhian some more long, uber soft, light pajama pants with lace trim at the bottom like La Senza used to sell. We discuss food servers: their looks and their manners. This stems from a shitty experience we had at our local El Torito. Victoria falls and we abruptly end the show without plugs or marketing or any of the like.

147: Fuck You, You’re The Cat

Right off the bat I warn you this is well over two hours long. We recorded this on the night of August 13th and again August 17th. Plus there’s a song at the end. It’s been too long since we put an episode out so I just put the two together without any real editing.

Victoria starts the show right off by making the claim that if Obama tells the press what his true favorite beer is, it will make children drink that beer. We do a few movie reviews including the girls review of 500 Days of Summer, Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince, Twilight and the last Broadway performance of RENT. The girls talk about their day at San Diego State University campus including how to do if you want to avoid getting penis up the butt on the trolley and our day visiting family.  We play a rousing game of Eat Kill or Fuck and I tell some things I learned from podcasts this week. There’s a bit of sports news (that is now OLD NEWS) and we discuss a few sex related articles just to annoy the sister.

Starting the second half the show we discuss our Anniversary night and Rachel’s weekend with her dad. We learn Victoria is the teenager of the couple. Then we move on to a couple lists from Sugarslam.com. KISS has a new album and we wonder who’s more of a sell-out: KISS for selling their album at Wal-Mart or Wal-Mart for selling their album. Victoria brings up some celebrity tweets and we bring a question to the table from our listener, Yummy Lane: why do people ask your opinion then tell you that your wrong? I follow that up by asking why ask for advice and then give a million reasons why you can’t follow it? Katy Perry also gives props for her awkward chest to God.

Links:
Go visit our new friends at Masters of None Podcast!
Also our dear friends at Litterbox Podcast. They’re joining us in the fight against Lupus. Go support them!
Five Incredibly Impractical Sexual Fetishes
36 Words You Should Never Say In Bed
20 Greatest High School Proms of All-Time
The 40 Hottest 25 and Under Female Celebrities
“God made my boobs bigger” – Katy Perry
Check out Rachel’s new favorite band: Metro Station
EAT HERE!!! Currant Restaurant for Absinthe Minded Fridays and their AWESOME popcorn and frites!

Go visit uncast.net and donate for Lupus and Victoria needs toys! Daniel needs beers!
Give us a call at our new phone line: (619) 940-4SEX that’s 619-940-4739

146: AIDS and Rubber Gloves Always Win

My sister Rachel visits us for this episode and we discuss her trip out to tour Biola University and it’s two chapels. Don’t worry, they have a gym. Victoria forces us to watch a movie musical which doesn’t suck so bad and I can’t seem to make up my mind as to whether or not I like one of the beers of the week.

We watch a great Padres game and discuss the joy of tequila shots and Padres comebacks. We learn some fundamental rules for Apples to Apples. We have Rachel’s dad over for a visit and we have to censor our game of Scattergories to keep things from getting awkward. Victoria argues against Shark Week and I have to spread my love for it. You get to hear what it sounds like when Victoria realizes early into a debate that she’s wrong.

Victoria introduces us to the geekest sports related event ever. It’s even called a Jamboree. We continue the dork with talk of the Torchwood series “Children of Earth” and a Meatloaf poem. Daniel brings some things he learned from Podcasts this week and Victoria gives good noms. Cooking Time: 1:10:29

132: Happy World Lupus Day

Welcome to another show! Rhian from Audiobuzzed joins us in an episode filled with moms, whores and babies. We celebrate Mother’s Day, discuss college applications, giving the love of your life a gay for Valentine’s Day and college application talk.

Victoria’s dad brings back some tequila and scotch from Mexico and we discuss Motherlover. It ain’t no Dick In A Box. Victoria learns more things this week and we discover Air Sex. We have to go. You have to come with us. Rhian brings us whore news and we remember the last weekend in Arizona one more time.

We end the show with baby names, casting for a new historical crime drama movie. we learn that Malley got lucky and we go through bachelorette parties and why women need to be surrounded by so much fake cock when they could easily get the real thing. The show notes are longer than the episode. This one’s about an hour ten.

Links:
Mom Sourcing
Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde Casting
Top Baby Names
Keith Malley got lucky