319: Cucks and Golden Snowflakes

It’s the years of [bullet] shells and [special little] snowflakes. We discuss how epically 2017 has started already. If you thought we were going to put 2016 to bed, 2017 has decided it’s a pissing contest. Victoria talks about how cuckholds are going to “take it back” from the alt-right before transitioning smoothly into makeup. This brings us to toys of our parents which, of course, leads to Trivial Pursuit. What’s your favorite version?

In the 80s? Don’t mind if we do but let’s talk drugs. First, just say no and next what determines whether you did crystal, crack, or cocaine? More loving childhood memories include horror movies we were forced to watch. Movies discussed include: Babadook, C.H.U.D., Cujo, Hostel, Poltergeist, Reservoir Dogs, The Eye, The Ring, and The Witch.

The thought of being terrified makes us thirsty and you get a special treat with two excellent and highly-recommended ales this episode: Scaldis Noel and Tough Love 2016. The Golden Globes went fairly well and La lA LA la whatever. Failed jokes lead to discussion with more failed jokes. Victoria goes off on Animal Crossing as we discuss her OCD player character, Mayor Mayor. Daniel is learning to roleplay in Skyrim. Oh yeah, he’s not obsessed with D&D at all. Video games are a lot of shooting of feet and getting stuck. Turn based games are Victoria’s jam!

318: 2016 Learns Foreplay

Dear 2016, thanks for the offer. We’re flattered. We really am but no. We won’t have intercourse with you. Why? Simple: you never learned foreplay. You had one job 2016. One. Anyways we’re back and we’re tackling the myth that 2016 was the worst year on record by pointing out some of the awesomeness that came with the year whether it was trips we took, time together or with other loved ones, karaoke to real musical performances, beer as always plays a role and we have so much more to look forward to in 2017…like U-X: Decade of Debauchery!

313: Two-Beer Victoria

After 2 beers, Victoria needs food not hockey. We skip a Gulls game to record this for you guys and we’re happy with our decision. 43-45 BC were one year because it’s a fucking mess in Rome, 440 days a year. Victoria has to wait 9 months for arancini because…she got a little um, excited last time and now she’s pregnant. That is, if she doesn’t die in Paris first. We go quickly through the first two beers of the week. Through this, we learn true love is eating a demon baby out of your stomach. Victoria says the movie Lucy is shit and Kanye has gone cray but Jay-Z is not, nor is Beyonce.
Scary movies are scary. Deadpool is NOT a family movie but Victoria somehow makes it more juvenile. That said we both have shit show movies we just have to watch: Gods of Egypt and Eddie the Eagle. Why not combine them? Wonder Twin powers activate! Beer of the Week #3 make us ask, “Hey Australia; what’s with the green and gold as your national colors? Not good enough to be on your flag but good enough for everything else?” We’ll leave you with this happy thought: CGI Paul Walker will never die.

beer, restaurants, Gaglione Bros, cheesesteak, Cleopatra, history, Italy, Rome, Paris, Cinnamon, movies, Jay-Z, celebrities, Beyonce, Kanye West, travelling, Deadpool

311: It’s Like Caligula For Children

This is our first recorded episode of 2016. Creed makes God cry. Victoria gets upset because a Buzzfeed Quiz told her she’d fail 4th grade science. Facebook trending topics are ridiculous. For example, are German people racist for buying Mein Kampf? Guess where the Kardashian loving Vivi sides on this debate. I’ll give you a hint: Daniel takes a hard “Fuck Cancer” stance, while she takes a softer “it happens, get over it!” approach.

Our search for brown ales continues. The first from Alesmith, is amazing. The second, by Black Market, not so much. This is made up by the new Uncast Winter Cocktail. Want to know how to make it? Listen to the show or call the Uncast Line. Christmas was eventful with a great basketball match and a new favorite cocktail bar, Seven Grand. This follows with Daniel being very adamantly wrong for a second time in the show. It’s kinda awkward how wrong he is.

He does tell a story about a pretty epic day that he and Butch had on December 12th. We ended 2015 with a wonderful night at Becky’s house with great food, drinks, and Cards Against Humanity. We move on to 2016 goals (not resolutions) which includes a great book Becky got for Victoria, Thug Kitchen: The Official Cookbook which is a book of vegan recipes that have so far been pretty amazing. From food back to beer and on to movies. It’s a natural progression! We enjoyed all three blockbusters we saw this winter: Star Wars The Force Awakens, Hateful Eight, and The Revenant.

307: Free Cheese and Gunpowder

First off, apologies on the “great hall” effect on Daniel and Butch’s mics. Those were meant to be shut off and Daniel obviously dropped the ball. We start right off with our first beer, taking us back to Old England. Then after having to be reminded about 9/11, Victoria and Daniel both show why white people are horrible. The musket it was the stormtroopers of rifles and 2016 is going to be a glorious year for a lot of nerds. Victoria the duckbill fucker, doesn’t care about buffaloes like Hollywood doesn’t care about doing a biopic properly.
We get on up with a little James Brown talk. We discuss Butch’s teams dominating local trivia nights. This all leads into an R&B music discussion. This makes us hungry and leads to a brave idea for Unniversary IX. Victoria heads to bed and Daniel talks about flooding the Casa and the death of his self built rig or at least the motherboard. We go off on the Bucs for a bit and call it a night under 75 mins.

306: The Bored Identity

Victoria has a confusing epiphany and its name is boredom. What’s your time suck for when productive stuff sounds dull and nothing seems fun? In fact, we recorded this in early August. So this has become a thing. Spreadsheets seem to be Daniel’s thing. Victoria has gotten into makeup lately, and that’s also become a thing. What’s your thing?

First beer of the week after some sushi, brought us “Beltane” and regardless of my own mispronunciation, it was delicious anyways. The brett brings dah funk. Victoria calls it the cilantro of the beer world.

The Pride Parade did not go quite as planned. It was raining, it was pouring, the Gods all came out and they brought all the thunder and lightning. It was one of the best things I’ve ever been a part of. Oh and this was the day that Butch also introduced me to The Balboa Bar & Grill.

Victoria talks about “Ant Man”, “Mission Impossible”, and similar movies that she saw this summer. We then get on to beer #2 and discuss the fun and chaotic Hess Fest 2015 and our hopes for future events. For instance, lines shouldn’t curve into each other and including more high quality local breweries that don’t bottle would be amazing.

Victoria gets a lesson in Targaryens. Are 3-headed dragons a thing? In a thought of complete insanity Victoria asks, what’s your lucky number? To certify the opinion, she shares a recent dream with us.

291: Glitter & Emetophilia

Hey if you think releasing an episode 2 weeks after recording was bad, try a full month. We truly hope that we still have listeners. In fact, let’s do that right now. If you still listen to the show, go to facebook.com/uncast OR email uncast.net@gmail.com and let us know. New meme, more people listen to Uncast than have died in America from Ebola.

Victoria goes through some ideas for Unniversary. It’ll be March 21, 2015. Plan accordingly. No excuses! Unless that excuse is “I don’t listen and I want no part of you and your hoodrat bullshit.” If it’s the latter, we understand. You’re dead to us anyways.

First order of business for Unniversary: bring the most derelict and the most awesome “American” treat you can think of and Andrea will have to try it during Unniversary. Best and worst snack will win a prize of some sort. It’ll be better than an Uncast shirt or a bag of condoms. Unless you’re into that sort of thing. Of course this also starts a conversation about various treats we loved as kids; both American and Mexican. Tamarind, chili, and sugar is awesome.

We went to Tony & Kristen’s wedding and we had an amazing time. My cousins came out to enjoy some beer for a day and after four breweries. Again, a great time was had by all. Shout out to Indian Joe Brewing and Karl Strauss. Also, Lost Abbey Brewing and Belching Beaver Brewing.

Victoria reads us a story about a threeway gone wrong. Not saying what happened but Meat Gin is a thing now. Read that as many times as needed to let it sink in. In the meantime, let’s discuss some Facebook bullshit. Yeah it really could be anything but it’s this shit. Somehow this reminds Vivi of the London Beer Flood.

Glitter is a horrible thing but now you can get pills that make you poop glitter. Victoria wants to shoot glitter into space. Somehow this ties into a semi truck with a naked woman riding in it, that hits a school bus. Guess that state. It did lead to Fitness Swingers. Don’t ask how. Just look it up. Or don’t.

Sportsing! The World Series has been determined but we recorded this when the NLCS had just ended. It was a fairy tale series of Royals vs Giants and in the end, the Marlins won? They’re owned by Jeffrey Loria so they’ll never win. Jeter > Mantle > Olbermann. We just needed to make that clear. Tired of Gawker bullying, Buzzfeed plagiarism, and Deadspin mansplaining? Go to the ClickHole!

Also May 2015 is coming up. Everyone find the best pair of shiny pants for MrDahonay’s next birthday! Speaking of my brofriend, we have beers this week. Also related, in China, a woman’s virginity is worth $5000. WTF people. Also WTF, don’t turn foods I like into dessert. No cappuccino chips. No hot dog flavored snacks. No mac n cheese ice cream. We don’t need no Bertie Bott’s Every Flavored Chip Bowl at Unniversary. Or do we?