289: Filling All Your Churros
“It’s okay to take advantage of a sleeping churro!”

Recorded August 23rd and released today. We briefly mention Ferguson and we discuss the passing of Robin Williams. THAT is how long it’s been. We apologize. Also, since we’re releasing this during National Suicide Prevention Week, so I must put this here. 1-800-273-8255. If life ever becomes too much, give that number a call. We also discuss the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge and the good that it has done while it was viral. We look forward to seeing similar viral campaigns to bring awareness to health issues that could also use a bit more understanding from the general public and funding for research and support.

Let’s get to the fun shit! We enjoyed our 15th Wedding Anniversary last month. It was an epic night of Eclipse Chocolate for dinner (eat dessert first!) followed by Stone beer and Brabant for cocktails. Victoria also discovers a major secret that Andrea has been keeping from her. Stephen Fry classes up sucking one’s own cock. On the same note, Norwich City beat Ipswich Town to win the first leg of the East Anglia derby. We discuss absinthe and something that brings up why Sarah McLachlan is music’s Michael Vick. This may be due to Victoria being on the 4th beer in the day and she starts interrupting with random tunes.

Victoria got a new haircut. We went to BNS Brewery. Also known as Klan State Brewniversity. They don’t call 9-1-1. So, don’t have a heart attack or choke. They will shoot you. We did go to Urbn St Brewing though and they have our favorite pizza in San Diego county BY FAR. Their IPA is also one of the best in a county known for an over-abundance.

We got a Lootcrate that included a Funko GROOT doll. We took the in-laws to Puesto and Daniel got himself a very fine hat. We also found Kitson, which – Like Babette Schwartz – is one of those stores where you see a million things you want but nothing you truly NEED. Flame eater talks too much. Victoria wants to start a new version of Cards Against Humanity because our regular set, even with 4 expansions, is starting to get old. So she’s created a new way to play.

285a: Code Magenta 4 What!?

This one went so long, we had to split it into two episodes.

WARNING: This show is full of #TD4W and begins with Victoria taking selfies instead of hosting the show. This is balanced out as the show gets better the longer we go. We visited more breweries this week and we think we’ve found our Official Summer Beer of Uncast for 2014? Don’t agree with us? Then YOU pick somethin!

Victoria creates two brothels and we negotiate deals for said brothels. We discuss the etymology of “The Bees Knees.” Then there’s this thing about this little street taco shop called Puesto. Best tacos in San Diego, awesome tequila (half price when someone scores) and the best rice & beans ever. Even their salsa and chips are worth noting.

Another thing worth noting: Butch has been getting LAID. It’s all in the vibe, law of attraction, and all that stuffs. Speaking of, is there hotel code for when someone leaves the hotel between 3-7am alone who wasn’t alone earlier? Strangely this leads to another Victoria sex worker kickstarter. This one oddly comes “third hand.” New Hobo Code.

What do you do when your name is Crystal Metheny? Listen and find out or click that link there. This of course naturally seques into beer number two, Rough Draft Amber Ale. Who cares about the World Cup? Who are you rooting for? Victoria picks ‘em by hotness. Butch is rooting for Italy (free tequila) and Ghana (cause why not, amiright ladies?) Yeah guess who’s already out by the time this airs.

Moving on, we have Jason Mamoa cast as Aquaman. This naturally segues us into the man who can’t seem to stop getting “intimate” with pool rafts. Does sex with an inflatable doll also constitute a crime? This of course, leads Victoria to a new business idea. This leads to the rest of us washing our brains out with more beer. It’s also where we end part one of this episode.

Starting off the next half, let’s just say this bottle of Stone Cali-Belgique was not what we remembered. The NBA and NHL Finals just ended and we discuss. Why? Because why the hell not. Miami has an interesting mascot, the Habs cartoon description is a bit interesting, and this is where Victoria stops paying attention, hence the title.

252: The HOV Lane

Rhian is back! YES she is back in a full capacity and we talk about my trip to Ottawa, how she’s feeling, her birthday, Christmas and lots of beer. There’s a list of unsexy sex stories from The Huffington Post and Victoria asks the ultimate Helen Keller question: Would she be a good prostitute?

245: Nerd Bang FAIL

The Summer Olympics in London start! We’re all excited and drinking two beers each and all sorts of celebrations. OH and also because RHIAN IS BACK!! We talk not about Comic-Con itself which was awesome without us, but Craigs List ads for Casual Nerdcounters. Somehow this comes with a question about what you call anal sex.

Daniel’s got a bit of a problem with Hill People calling themselves country living. Victoria, article geek that she’s become, brings us number two with Bizarre Crimes in Walmart Parking Lots. Daniel adds more lameness with stupid juvenile vulgar things that “Chick-Fil-A” could be short for. It’s dumb. Just forget it. Victoria brings us Ten Amazing Penises and Daniel makes up for his shit with Things I Learned From Podcasts.

Third list of the night includes the Ten Roles Almost Played By Bill Murray and Vivi makes up for it with an awesome idea for stick figure items to replace kids for those married couples without kids and all the shit they get to enjoy because of it. Rhian ends the episode with possibly one of the most epic Whore News segments ever. One Hour, Eleven Minutes, 35 seconds.

We start the show right off with a selection from our new favorite brewery, Mazanita Brewery. Victoria wants everything that goes in her mouth to have a caramel center. We switch that to wanting pot butter in the middle of everything we eat or drink. We admit becoming too obsessed with Sims Social. This week we learn that Rhian doesn’t know who Ayn Rand is.Victoria’s article of the week is the 10 Insulting Words You Should Know. We review a couple of movies we recently watched: “The Town” and “The Adjustment Bureau”. Now we want dapper hats. We all brave through a disturbing new commercial for Luvs Diapers. Daniel brings 8 Essential Bacon Hacks and the 11 Most Unlikely Fetishesbecause he’s all about bacon and sex.Gumby tries to rob a local 7-11 and loses 27 cents out of the whole thing. Do you like fucking rafts? Well, Rhian brings the story for you. Apparently, it’s illegal in Ohio! Victoria brings an Awesome List and we end by talking more about our “Name Daniel’s Penis” contest. This show is 101 minutes of bescummin!!

WE WANT YOU!
Daniel’s penis needs a moniker fit to describe his magical manhood. So email, leave a comment at uncast.net, call 619-940-4SEX or leave the names on reply to one of us on Twitter or post it on Facebook. We’re taking entries until November 18th. Winner will get a large prize package including music and schwag from GuitarRob of Trainwreck In Sarasota fame.

198: Nobody Wants The Daytime Stripper

Rhian joins us again this week and we start right off with a question: Would you marry an over the hill stripper if you can have an all expenses paid trip to Vegas? Let us know! We drink a pretty decent American Belgian-Style Ale this week and our whores end up on glitter knees over it. Groundhog’s Day is flawed and we describe why. There’s music from the breakup of The White Stripes to the evolution of Wheelchair Jimmy to a man called Drake.

Someone told Jay-Z and Willow Smith that producing another version of Annie was a great idea in 2011. That musical’s not dated at all. We predict the Super Bowl and move on to a few articles born from failure (I’m Married But Still A Virgin and D&D Threatens Prison Security) and dumb luck (Victim Treats Mugger Right). It wouldn’t be a Rhian episode without some Whore News (or at least some whoring) and she brings us two this week. First is a story of a Woman Arrested For Mooning Cops and how a Tattoo On A Penis Won A Man A Car. This is a short one (under 51 minutes) so enjoy!

186: The Freilich Maneuver

So check this one out. There’s beer, 2010’s “Read-A-Book” and some talk of Lil Wayne’s autotune dependency. Victoria brings us a science segment with “clean drinking” and we also read some listener comments. This is followed by a few movie reviews, some sports from Daniel and a documentary we shared as a family.

After all that we still have time to tell you how your bathroom posture affects your health. Daniel brings some more things he learned from podcasts. We learn about the rise and fall of quicksand and Victoria has an Awesome List!