223: What Does Albino Smell Like?

This week is a blend of chaos and cray cray. Starting with this year’s version of Shipyard Smashed Pumpkin Ale, we discuss medieval shit, eggnog, hiring a personal show butcher, mernimals and add Fish Bottom as a band name. First article of the week is about Clitoral Stimulation. We talk about albinos (hence the show title) and Victoria pens a novel titled: “How To Fuck A Mermaid: And Other Tails”.

Canadians voted for their Provincial Premiers and we discuss Canadian politics a bit. We also discuss Canadian Thanksgiving and the fun that comes with that each year. We celebrated here in the United States a bit by making the same dish. Tourtieres (meat pies) are quite tasty. Going back to politics, we learn about a politician that strips during a recent commercial.

Victoria comes strong with an Awesome List from heaven and we all enjoy a taste of the awesome. Our very dear friend, Annam Manthiram has written a book titled “After The Tsunami” and we’re going to be seeing her at a reading next month. We’re really proud of her and we want to push her book as much as we can. We discuss things parents say that just don’t make any sense. Rhian brings us whore news and everything is alright. First we learn that it is okay to be a porn star and a high school teacher. We also hear about a woman that wanted a male stripper for her 100th birthday. I hope I’m still that horny at 100. Hell, I hope I reach 100. Maybe. All this in an hour, seven minutes, thirty-eight seconds.

208: Out Of The Woods

Apologies ahead of time for the terrible background noise. It was a terribly hot night and fans were necessary. We jump right into cutlery, food, racism and a hot waitress at Urge Gastropub named Laura S. and a waiter with a hot voice. Rhian talks about the amazing meals she made. Two days in a row of fancy awesome dinners. She hasn’t done that in a LONG time so it’s a big sign of victory. Also because they tasted FREAKING AMAZING! Victoria tries to one-up with her awesome breakfast but I think Rhi gets the victory in this one.

Rhian comes up with an idea for a new musical based on blending fantasy, children’s stories, myths, Bible characters, etc. Denmark tries to ban Marmite (those damned Danes!) and we discuss horse herpes which brings up Sherpa Prostitute Sex. Whore news this week includes an old saint’s severed head and a man only wearing olive oil getting busted by cops.

199: Nahmean?

It’s Valentine’s Day Weekend (as of recording) and Rhian is still in house. We go through some Valentine’s advice from Ghostface Killah and our weekend of love together. We discuss the Grammy Awards and the creepiness that filled the entire evening. Victoria introduces us to the Gathering of the Gagas. Why does this exist?!

The Super Bowl was earlier this month. No one cares now, but apparently someone still did. Victoria discovers “Letters of Note” and shares a few favorites. It’s not a Rhi episode without Whore News and Rhian doesn’t disappoint. First, a Thai airline recruits ladyboy flight attendants and a Naughty message was found on kid’s V-Day candy. We end by asking if Carrie Underwood is the next Yoko Ono. How often are we going to hear talk about someone as the next Yoko?!

185: Shanks

Rhian joins us this week as we record on Victoria and Daniel’s 11th Wedding Anniversary! We start right off with talk of hentai, passive-aggressive doms and a vampire with shivs instead of fangs. Daniel gives the world a new cocktail and Victoria creates her own. We discuss Sims and of course Victoria’s need for a moat comes back into play.

Victoria and Daniel spend a day out including seeing “Scott Pilgrim vs. The World” and testing out Lightning Brewery’s Cream Ale. Later on we go to Cuchina Urbana and fall in love all over again. Victoria makes a ring of awesome for breakfast and we enjoy a great Anniversary together.

Victoria comes up with an idea of Cinnamon travelling the country telling her version of the Aristocrats joke. Victoria also tries to start a loud conversation about furries in the restaurant and this somehow brings up accidental dog fucking. Someone tell us how that’s even possible. She follows this up with an article on the Six Songs Used To Torture People. Victoria comes to the realization that Alan Moore was paranoid and crazy.  She adds a bathroom story and this leads us into Rhian’s “Whore News”. We end the episode with a list of things Victoria is missing this weekend or rather the weekend this episode was recorded.

178: Over Zealous Vulvas

We start the show right off with a list of beers we’ve had recently and what we thought of them. This brings out the idea that Pacman was a grapefruit. How does eating fruits make ghosts edible? Speaking of ghosts, we leave for West Virginia and learn about the deaths of two celebrities and two long-standing relationships. We discuss this West Virginia trip to see Rachel graduate high school and try out the local cuisine. There was laughter, there was tears, there was drama afterwards and we will not be going back anytime soon.

We saw a couple of movies in flight which helped shorten the trip and this got us in the mood for the World Cup. Already in the tournament stage by the time you hear it, we were kinda geeked about it when we recorded this. Victoria goes off on the MTV Movie Awards and the fall of Snoop’s lyrical talents and Katy Perry goes from kissing girls to being truly annoying. Of course she has more lyrics to complain about and this week it’s 99 Red Balloons and I Can’t Fight This Feeling.

Victoria discusses her trip with Becky to Arizona for a Passion Party with DaHonay. Victoria is designated a level 7 whore out of a scale of 1-5. She also declares her disgust at clitoral stimulators shaped like cute animals or butterflies. On the way home, to kill the boredom of the drive, they brought back “Kill, Marry or Fuck” which is slightly different from the Eat Kill or Fuck we played before. The ultimate is of course the men from “Full House”.

We discuss our time at the Coronado Brewery. Good food and good beer in a nice area of town. Apparently all it takes to be a good detective is black coffee, smoking cigarettes and fingering a lady in the library. What’s the best place to do that btw? Inspired by some funny podcast episodes, Victoria finds “The Prophecy is True” and “It achieved a consciousness” as great phrases to add to conversations. Inspired by Community we try to get “She/He said, fully erect” as a phrase to replace “That’s what he/she said”. Victoria puts M&Ms on notice about their pretzel M&Ms.

From there we move on to True Blood and Victoria thinks about how hot it would be to have sex with something that can move that fast. Tonguing, biting on the upper-inner thigh while fingering, nomming the nape of the neck while fucking, etc. It’s odd having a Vampire show in that kind of setting but it helps make it interesting. Victoria has also been getting hardcore into another TV show called Leverage. I’m not yet sure if I like it or not. After TV talk we jump into the start of the World Cup and determine we want Desmond Tutu for our grandpa. The games start off exciting with the USA drawing against England, Tshabalala is the greatest name in football next to Kaka and Germany crushes Australia. Victoria says soccer has the hottest guys and if ladies are looking for a sport to get into, this is it. So there’s a TON in this episode. Join us for all 77 minutes, 29 seconds of it!

175: Should I Eat My Son For Breakfast?

Our apologies for the 25 seconds or so of sipping and smacking and otherwise silence about 6 minutes into this one. I meant to cut it out and got lazy with the editing. REALLY lazy. Victoria comes up with a new business idea that Daniel doesn’t think will work. You tell us what you think. The title quote comes from one of those generic “woman empowerment” posts going around Facebook (You women realize those are more chauvanistic than empowering, right?) and the logical – or illogical – conclusions that it could come to.

We move from this on to a bit of a tear jerking United Way story where the city of Seattle and hundreds of volunteers help make a child a superhero for a day. We discuss our day at Toronado San Diego and we give our review. We enjoy a nice hat night in Paltalk and we discuss how that went. If you remember us asking you to tell us what highly regarded bands or musicians you hate, we now ask you to write us (or call) and tell us what children’s shows or movies directed at children that were popular or highly regarded which you just never go on board with.

We end the show with a few things: Victoria and Becky begin a quest for the most perfect cupcake in San Diego, Lady MacBeth had something right and the Church of Awesome needs badges. Anyone want to design some? Maybe come up with badge ideas and possible qualifications? Email us at uncast.net@gmail.com or call in to 619-940-4SEX! Don’t have time for that shit? Leave a comment on uncast.net ya lazy bastards! This one’s just over an hour long!

155: Wherjews

Starting off the show with a nice hoppy IPA from Scotland. Y’all know how I like my scotch. I also like Scottish Ales. We go into the first of what will be many pot lucks at my new place of employment. That of course leads to some of Victoria’s latest cooking goodies. We also go to the latest Rev concert at the House of Blues and what happens when you mix hillbilly with Motley Crue. Follow that with a Party!Super Party! And you can’t believe the fun that could be had.

Victoria bitches about Geico commercials, read about a wooly bridey and a strange Japanese restaurant centered around paying it forward. There’s football Game of the Week action and guess what happened? It wasn’t a hummer, that’s what it wasn’t! Gimme this, gimme that, call us or email us you know where to go. We just wanna hear from ya. Enjoy this episode in a flat 51 minutes.