December 2011

232: G-Spot Magician

Rhizzy Vizzy Deezy Beautiful Cover Girl! Grab both of your fists and put good stuff in your mouth while we put good stuff in your ear. The fallen angels are horny and it’s Christmas time. We discuss the need for donations, both for getting Rhian to the Mayo Clinic and to produce an Uncast porn video (or pictures if your donation is cheap). This also leads to doing a 50’s style PSA video on “How To Host An Orgy”.

Victoria finds an article with Gift Guides for sex toy enthusiasts. Victoria brings us her Christmas Awesome List and Rhian has a story about a dear baby seal who just wanted a nap on the couch. We also learn about the sungrazer comet that wouldn’t die. Rhian brings us Whore News including a banning of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

NAME DANIEL’S PENIS! You have until January 7th but don’t wait.

Victoria creates her own theme music which Rhian names “Electronic Hee Haw” and jump right into beer of the week. Daniel forgets what zodiac sign Rhian is. Victoria has a few rants but she starts it off by gloating that she can finish knitting a glove and record a podcast at the same time. These rants include Alec Baldwin, Twitter fake drama, bukkake and fisting (anyone surprised?), healing lily bits and Daniel’s penis, “The Chew”, ethnic restaurants like Tacos del Gordo and tequila. We also discuss Agave, Milagro and the few other awesome Mexican restaurants outside of Mexico.

We jump from this to decorating for Christmas. Rhian, for those who don’t know, is the Christmas decorating queen. Her trees and front door decorating in particular are well documented. This year, Victoria and Daniel join her by decorating the casa and it comes out looking spectacular! Victoria even made an Advent Calendar and it has turned out really fun and awesome. Victoria goes off on hippies and hipsters and we realize they really aren’t the same.  Rhian challenges us to see “Hair” before she arrives. We discuss IKEA and wanting to go out for dinner there for fun.

Victoria tells the story about a model that walked into a propeller. This should’ve been listed for Halloween perhaps. Adding onto that, she mentions finger twisting a llama and we have other ideas. Daniel asks the girls to give their opinions on 5 Things You Never Knew About Female Sexuality. Rhian brings us some disturbing Whore News including a story of a father who collapses after he hires a prostitute that ends up being his daughter and a school in Austria that will start offering sex courses. We end the show with a new Awesome List!

230: Unbridled Corkage

It’s Rhian’s Birthday! Victoria educates us on the pornish history of “Manna Manna” and that her idea of metal is Bon Jovi. This of course leads to a bit of JBJ hate. Victoria moves her hate onto The Muppets. Rhi and Daniel try to defend but we can’t convert her. Victoria tries to get us into the kids songs turned into pornos thing and she can’t convert us, so we’re even.

We drink a beer in honour of Rhian’s Birthday: Midnight Sun’s “Fallen Angel Ale”. We love it! Rhian had an amazing birthday weekend and she shares some of it with us! We discuss the holiday season a bit and what is the proper terms to use with strangers? MOVING ON! There’s a new segment on this show. We’re gonna call this one “Getting Corked with Rhian” and we ask her all sorts of wine related questions and she gives all sorts of wine related answers. Rhian regales us with a trio of stories for Whore News and we wrap it all up in an hour, 9 minutes and 40 seconds.

229: No One Puts Rhi In A Barrel
We missed doing 227 the right way! Aww remeniscing is fun. Rhian likes to do things like the first time. We get into beer of the week and we lose Victoria’s attention. That’s right, she surfs the web and plays games during the show. Rhian agrees to come out to San Diego to help out around the Casa.

Victoria introduces the randomness of her mind and starts by stating the obvious: people need a license to make microwave popcorn in an unventilated area. Rhian and Daniel of course reminds us of the food fails that everyone already won’t let us live down. Victoria also shares her need for bourbon barrels so she can age everything in bourbon barrels. Daniel brings up Coca-Cola. Victoria then rants a bit about annoying tweets. We could go on about this for hours but we only spend a few minutes on it before moving on to Vivi’s two current crushes from Parks & Rec. She ends the segment by reminding us that we should not compare our relationships to those in Twilight. She’s QUITE excited about seeing Breaking Dawn: Part 1, btw.

Rhian and Victoria plan concert plans and this leads into a fan biting Britney Spears during her lap dance routine. Rhian brings up a Bitchin’ Kitchen article about the 5 Girly Drinks Guys Shouldn’t Be Ashamed To Drink. Rhian has to ask America what the fuck is wrong with us declaring pizza a vegetable. Rhian brings us some whore news where we learn about Niagra and fingerprinting strippers. We end the show by choosing the finalists for the “Name Daniel’s Penis” contest. The Poll will be up shortly and you will have at least a month to get your votes in! That was not meant as a euphemism but there ya go. We get this all in 69:54.