226: You Can’t Squirt With An Audience

Due to an mp3 upload error on Daniel’s part, 226 is temporarily unavailable. This should be fixed by  11/8/2011, 7pm Pacific Time. Sorry folks!

We start right off on this Halloween episode with awesome spiced beer and a new bukkake superhero. We have to explain to our live audience what bukkake is. Victoria also has lots of questions for our audience. This of course blends into fisting and why guys are weirded out by super kinky sex acts. This leads to squirting and Daniel has questions for those female listeners who have. Victoria brings up Thai ladyboys and this naturally segues into a story about a Shapeshifting Hooker. We get another entry in the “Name Daniel’s Penis” contest. If it’s turned purple, let go of it, man!We are really touched and honored to share some critical acclaim from someone close to the show. Bias much? You bet! We’ll still take it cause it’s real! Go check out Junkenstein’s blog and his new podcast, “Junk’s Trunk” which is ‘like a musical essay’ and really great. Victoria shares an article about a man who firebombed a Taco Bell due to a meat shortage in his Chalupa. We learn that China is now Cracking Down On Overly Entertaining TV. Victoria shares her ultimate shameber song. Click it, damn you! We end the show with Whore News about a topless woman that leads cops on a 200 km/hr chase. Now THAT’S a fast whore. Speaking of fast. We get this out in an hour, four minutes and nine seconds.

225: Fuck This Old House

We start right off discussing music. Vivi moves us right into making fun of the way her mom talks and this somehow links in with her current obsession with “Vampire Diaries”. Rhian brings up “Secret Circle” and we realize it’s something we’ve kind of all seen before in various forms. We bring up the beers of the week, including entries from the new DaH Brew! We field a few questions from the audience about beer and our opinions. We kinda love that sort of thing! We enjoy lunch at an awesome new pub in the San Marcos Restaurant Row called Sublime Ale House. The food is awesome, the beer selection is mostly local and amazing.

This leads us to discuss the 10 Foods That Should Exist. Rhian discusses discovering the Mayo Clinic and how a few phone calls might just save her life and get her back on her feet. We’re currently running a fundraiser to help her pay for this miracle. PLEASE JOIN THE RHI ARMY and help keep this glimmer of hope alive! Rhian brings us an article about MC Hammer Starting His Own Search Engine. So, no matter what you look up, U Can’t Touch This. Yeah, we just did that. You can’t get that back.

Victoria discusses the crazy predictable anomaly that is “American Horror Story” and comes up with a new band name in the middle of it all. We know that lots of high schools steal mascots and logos from universities and professional teams but we learn about one school that’s been given the full Cease and Desist. Armageddon is coming up here in about a year and we talk about some signs of it’s impending arrival. Rhi wraps this up with some Whore News and we get the show done within an hour and twelve minutes.

Live again from vokle.com. You’ll need to get high before listening to this one. Victoria and Rhian both have a lot on their hands in dealing with Daniel. We learn the origin of the phrase “Laundry List”. Victoria introduces a new business idea and we’re all appalled. Or not.  Guest listeners mistake vokle.com for myfreecams.com and we have to let them down gently. This also includes their requests for various animal noises. These people really like some freaky shit.

Rhian brings us a list (you know how we love our lists) of the 10 Foods For A Better Sex Life. After getting bored with the list Victoria and Rhian start hitting on each other instead. In the process of this and learn that Rhian does not play with food for sex. Not into it. Stop trying. We learn all about lubes thanks to a recent episode of Doctor Oz.

We discuss this Occupy movement and wonder what the hell is this movement really about? Why now? Are we supposed to be the 99% or the 1%? What if I’m the 13%? Do they even know what this is really about or is it just an opportunity for us to bitch about everything we’re upset about or see as unfair in the ‘system’? Is this actually going to change anything or is it one more example of a lot of people bitching and yelling for a while and then going back to their lives with nothing being done?

We do know we love our listeners and special thanks to FuzBubbles for adding us on GetGlue. Thanks, love! Rhian brings us 14 Words With No English Equivalent and we have a blast trying to pronounce them. We ask all of you working in a service that requires the cleaning of public restrooms. Can you maybe go in and clean those a lot more often? Every hour for malls and stores with high volume, 2-3 times a day for restaurants or low-volume stores, etc? We jump from that right into whore news dealing with dogs and the newly crowned “Whore-o-ween”.

223: What Does Albino Smell Like?

This week is a blend of chaos and cray cray. Starting with this year’s version of Shipyard Smashed Pumpkin Ale, we discuss medieval shit, eggnog, hiring a personal show butcher, mernimals and add Fish Bottom as a band name. First article of the week is about Clitoral Stimulation. We talk about albinos (hence the show title) and Victoria pens a novel titled: “How To Fuck A Mermaid: And Other Tails”.

Canadians voted for their Provincial Premiers and we discuss Canadian politics a bit. We also discuss Canadian Thanksgiving and the fun that comes with that each year. We celebrated here in the United States a bit by making the same dish. Tourtieres (meat pies) are quite tasty. Going back to politics, we learn about a politician that strips during a recent commercial.

Victoria comes strong with an Awesome List from heaven and we all enjoy a taste of the awesome. Our very dear friend, Annam Manthiram has written a book titled “After The Tsunami” and we’re going to be seeing her at a reading next month. We’re really proud of her and we want to push her book as much as we can. We discuss things parents say that just don’t make any sense. Rhian brings us whore news and everything is alright. First we learn that it is okay to be a porn star and a high school teacher. We also hear about a woman that wanted a male stripper for her 100th birthday. I hope I’m still that horny at 100. Hell, I hope I reach 100. Maybe. All this in an hour, seven minutes, thirty-eight seconds.

Victoria of the bitten boob, Rhian of the dry boob, Daniel says “It ain’t just my dick that heals!” This week we learn Rhian rides vacuums, you don’t bring a broom to a mop fight and don’t be a dick about not liking things. We check out Garfunkel & Oates live, Rhian has an MRI and a terrible fall and we spend a night tracking a falling satellite. There’s Superkid Nails, a couple movie reviews and we learn to use Grover as a verb. Victoria shares her strange obsesions and Daniel has to 9,000 up her. We ask for fan participation in this one. What are your thoughts on what it would be like to have the genitalia you lack? Rhian brings us articles on Guinea Pig Dating Services and Naked Protests in San Francisco. Anyone surprised at that last one? No? Me neither. It’s hecka sexy. So is this episode. All in an hour, 42 minutes, 50 seconds of hawtness.

This week is classic Uncast. We start off trying to talk beer but get sidetracked by the Fallen Angels discussions on a new idea for IKEA (check the title). We finally get around to discussing the beer and it turns out to be worthy of nothing but…well, nothing. Our first article of the week is Cracked’s list of The 5 Things You Do Every Day That Are Actually Addictions.

We discuss new comedy shows we’ve seen, including the easy to hate yet hilarious Bo Burnham and the easy to love yet blended reviewed Wyatt Cenac. We discuss seals defending people, and the pros and cons of recent internet memes. There’s the stupidity of A Woman Asked To Remove Her Pot Shirt At A Willie Nelson Concert and then there’s dueling Whore News stories. First, there’s more Erotic Dancing On A Plane and then there’s a barmaid that has the local wives steaming mad. She looks like old wet leather that’s been ridden hard and beaten mercilessly. All this and more in an hour, a minute and forty some seconds.

We start the show right off with a selection from our new favorite brewery, Mazanita Brewery. Victoria wants everything that goes in her mouth to have a caramel center. We switch that to wanting pot butter in the middle of everything we eat or drink. We admit becoming too obsessed with Sims Social. This week we learn that Rhian doesn’t know who Ayn Rand is.Victoria’s article of the week is the 10 Insulting Words You Should Know. We review a couple of movies we recently watched: “The Town” and “The Adjustment Bureau”. Now we want dapper hats. We all brave through a disturbing new commercial for Luvs Diapers. Daniel brings 8 Essential Bacon Hacks and the 11 Most Unlikely Fetishesbecause he’s all about bacon and sex.Gumby tries to rob a local 7-11 and loses 27 cents out of the whole thing. Do you like fucking rafts? Well, Rhian brings the story for you. Apparently, it’s illegal in Ohio! Victoria brings an Awesome List and we end by talking more about our “Name Daniel’s Penis” contest. This show is 101 minutes of bescummin!!

WE WANT YOU!
Daniel’s penis needs a moniker fit to describe his magical manhood. So email, leave a comment at uncast.net, call 619-940-4SEX or leave the names on reply to one of us on Twitter or post it on Facebook. We’re taking entries until November 18th. Winner will get a large prize package including music and schwag from GuitarRob of Trainwreck In Sarasota fame.
We jump all over a couple of Manzanita beers and rave on both. Victoria gets talking about “The Wire” and phrases she can’t stop saying. There’s a cake hotel for all of us. We share some cool quotes from a Twitter buddy. We hear a story of a Japanese cock glued to a man’s hand and the Handerpants that made his life so much easier. We learn Sinead O’Connor is horny and loves anal. This leads to debate over hating artists simply because it’s cool to hate them and whether that’s truly fair or not.

Rhi brings us a hoax warning that there’s a panda on the rampage. Rhi rounds it out with some Whore News! We learn about slores and the slut gene! We’ve kept this one a bit shorter for you since last week’s ran so long. It’s only 45 minutes!

216: Jesus Take a Side

This week, we’re visited by Trainwreck In Sarasota, aka GuitarRob. After introductions are made and a couple initial questions, we go into our hellish weeks. Victoria found special surprises when cleaning out her desk for a move. Daniel says goodbye to a couple of co-workers after a crazy week. Rhian goes swimming again, visits with her mom and watches storms coming down the river. Her Aunt passed away and we memorialize her a bit.

We enjoy Stone’s new Anniversary Ale and rag on Victoria a bit for saying it’s too hoppy. We discuss new music with Rob and where he’s going next. We move from there to our inner geekness. This includes a CollegeHumor list on SuperHero Sex Moves. We go into a discussion on the mile-high club and Rhian brings us a story about “Safety First” at Domino’s Pizza. The conversation from this is worth listening to. Somehow we segue into Australian licorice and the creepiness of American Apparel. Victoria advocates child labour. She also mentions A&F paying The Situation to stop wearing its clothes.

On a serious side, Rob mentions that half of all donations towards his music goes towards Lupus Research and Advocacy and this brings up a long discussion on just how serious day to day life is for those who have to live with Lupus. There’s no other way to follow up such a serious topic than by discussing Burger King dropping the King from it’s ad campaign, which leads to Victoria wanting him in bed with her (along with Jack in the Box, Ronald McDonald and fast food mascots) and the rest of us trying to convince her she’s wrong. This also brings up an impromptu “Kill, Marry, Fuck”. Victoria again tries to get me to heal children with my magic penis. So wrong. We end it with Whore News where a pantsless woman got kicked off a JetBlue plane but American Airlines let a man fly on a plane wearing women’s underwear. This is a long two hours, 13 minutes and 23 seconds long! Love it like you love your group sex: in parts or as a whole.

Check out Trianwreck In Sarasota!
http://noisetrade.com/trainwreckinsrasota
twitter.com/guitarrobkatg
twitter.com/trainwreckis

We start right off with beer, as we are oft to do. Victoria and I celebrate a dozen years of marriage and share our weekend together with you. After a bit of Smurf Porn and Sims3 discussion (unrelated?), we go through a story about a plot during WWII to turn Hitler into a woman. Victoria reviews Glee 3D and mentions how distressing it is that her eyes are broken.

We jump from Glee to nostalgia as we talk about various childhood toys, shows, etc. This leads Daniel into an article listing some truly stupid ways schools are trying to keep schools safe. We share some stories from our own childhoods. Victoria talks about Pottermore and Rhian brings us the latest in Whore News. We have been getting obsessed with police/fire scanners lately and we hope to soon release a special episode with just a few moments from one night listening to scanners. An hour, 55 minutes and 31 seconds of awesomesauce.

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