282: Your Child May Be Ugly

Your baby: Cute or NOPE? You play along. We enjoy a well-balanced Stone beer. Cinnamon gets into shit. Booze Brothers & Barrel Harbor breweries entertain our beer cravings. Victoria likes Hearthstone but some guys can be flat out dickholes. Victoria shares dumb Buzzfeed article suggestions.

Racist stores bring Victoria new business ideas and we bring you the racist news of the week with Donald Sterling and Cliven Bundy. We pick up beer of the week #2 before finishing up RNW with an epic reaction to racist football fans. Speaking of, we had an epic time with the SD Mixtape Society and if you’re in the area and enjoy discovering and sharing music, you should come join us in June!

There are entirely too many damn trending topics related to One Direction! Closing pitchers should not come out to “Sweet Home Alabama.” Daniel rants about a difficult situation many men might know about. This leads to a Facebook rant. TL;DL Go back to using diaries and Fuck Buzzfeed. One thing that doesn’t suck? GoExplore.Net – Check it out people.

274: Huddling is Cuddling

UNIVERSARY 7 is MARCH 15. Mark your calendar, buy your tickets, and arrange your hotel. Or stay with us. Why? Z. C. C is for Cookie. In Soviet Russia, cookie sees you. If Vivi fucks a pie, is that scissoring? We be laying tracks, yo. Poll of the week: Did you have any clue that Christian Bale was in “Newsies?” Non-responses will count as “No” responses.

The guys haven’t seen Godfather 2 or 3. Victoria gets all kinds of judgmental. Victoria tells about her video game town and Daniel gets all kinds of judgmental. People go to the spa for jizz in the face. We get into a Reddit thread about everyday customs that are actually kinda weird when you think about it. Victoria hates Lagunitas. We discuss a conversation between @cavaticat and @jeffsaporito from this week that amused Daniel through his lunch break. Vivi and Butch of course feed off this.

Daniel has a business idea. Victoria has a theory. So do vaginas resemble the eye of Sauron? Want to motorboat a woman’s asshole? Don’t judge us! We’re normaler! Evidence? Magic is real. A student was actually suspended for casting a magic spell which made her teacher sick. Lastly, Victoria needs some help with her Valentine’s Day card slogans. Send your entries to uncast.net@gmail.com!

243: The Four My Little Ponies of The Apocalypse

This week we miss Rhian for many reasons. She’s left the Casa and she had to miss recording this episode with us as she’s dealing with some pretty serious stuff at the moment. We hope to have her back on the show as soon as possible. In the meantime, you get us, mwahahaha! We start right off as you’d expect, at the beginning. No seriously, we talk about the apocalypse. Do zombies have to be involved? You decide. Beer of the week is taken Wookey style. We drank of it and tasted that it was pretty hoppily awesome!

We discuss our recent Ottawa trip, returning Rhian to her home country and enjoying the city’s wonders. Victoria gives us an Awesome List and then it gets ugly. Jason Statham ugly. Victoria reviews “The Italian Job” and talks a bit about a couple other movies or something. I get into the Euro 2012 soccer tournament and yes I’m bitter about the outcome. Whatever. There’s a bit of hipster hate and we clear up the myth that I think Arcade Fire and Nickelback are in any way comparible. We end the show with a new game that (as usual) Vivi loves and I do not.

Victoria creates her own theme music which Rhian names “Electronic Hee Haw” and jump right into beer of the week. Daniel forgets what zodiac sign Rhian is. Victoria has a few rants but she starts it off by gloating that she can finish knitting a glove and record a podcast at the same time. These rants include Alec Baldwin, Twitter fake drama, bukkake and fisting (anyone surprised?), healing lily bits and Daniel’s penis, “The Chew”, ethnic restaurants like Tacos del Gordo and tequila. We also discuss Agave, Milagro and the few other awesome Mexican restaurants outside of Mexico.

We jump from this to decorating for Christmas. Rhian, for those who don’t know, is the Christmas decorating queen. Her trees and front door decorating in particular are well documented. This year, Victoria and Daniel join her by decorating the casa and it comes out looking spectacular! Victoria even made an Advent Calendar and it has turned out really fun and awesome. Victoria goes off on hippies and hipsters and we realize they really aren’t the same.  Rhian challenges us to see “Hair” before she arrives. We discuss IKEA and wanting to go out for dinner there for fun.

Victoria tells the story about a model that walked into a propeller. This should’ve been listed for Halloween perhaps. Adding onto that, she mentions finger twisting a llama and we have other ideas. Daniel asks the girls to give their opinions on 5 Things You Never Knew About Female Sexuality. Rhian brings us some disturbing Whore News including a story of a father who collapses after he hires a prostitute that ends up being his daughter and a school in Austria that will start offering sex courses. We end the show with a new Awesome List!

We missed doing 227 the right way! Aww remeniscing is fun. Rhian likes to do things like the first time. We get into beer of the week and we lose Victoria’s attention. That’s right, she surfs the web and plays games during the show. Rhian agrees to come out to San Diego to help out around the Casa.

Victoria introduces the randomness of her mind and starts by stating the obvious: people need a license to make microwave popcorn in an unventilated area. Rhian and Daniel of course reminds us of the food fails that everyone already won’t let us live down. Victoria also shares her need for bourbon barrels so she can age everything in bourbon barrels. Daniel brings up Coca-Cola. Victoria then rants a bit about annoying tweets. We could go on about this for hours but we only spend a few minutes on it before moving on to Vivi’s two current crushes from Parks & Rec. She ends the segment by reminding us that we should not compare our relationships to those in Twilight. She’s QUITE excited about seeing Breaking Dawn: Part 1, btw.

Rhian and Victoria plan concert plans and this leads into a fan biting Britney Spears during her lap dance routine. Rhian brings up a Bitchin’ Kitchen article about the 5 Girly Drinks Guys Shouldn’t Be Ashamed To Drink. Rhian has to ask America what the fuck is wrong with us declaring pizza a vegetable. Rhian brings us some whore news where we learn about Niagra and fingerprinting strippers. We end the show by choosing the finalists for the “Name Daniel’s Penis” contest. The Poll will be up shortly and you will have at least a month to get your votes in! That was not meant as a euphemism but there ya go. We get this all in 69:54.

228: A Bowl Of Dick Hats

Daniel and Victoria return from a Wedding weekend away in Sacramento, celebrating the union of our dear friends and listeners, Rachel & Victor. We start the show with Victoria wanting to create a French Beck cover band and wanting to be the modern day real life Cinderella. We have two beers of the week and we discuss some of the awesome foods that would work with them. This leads to a chocolate tasting, including a peanut butter and jelly bar that starts a sandwich discussion and somehow leads into the wedding weekend.

Rhian rants about the Duggars and their travels which leads to our own rants about people who have more kids than they can either afford or care for.  Victoria brings us an article about how beastiality leads to penis cancer and other STDs! Listener Junkenstein introduces us to Dick Hats and we segue that nicely into Victoria’s latest Awesome List! We top off the episode with Rhian’s Whore News as parents speak against an ex-porn star reading to their children.

We jump all over a couple of Manzanita beers and rave on both. Victoria gets talking about “The Wire” and phrases she can’t stop saying. There’s a cake hotel for all of us. We share some cool quotes from a Twitter buddy. We hear a story of a Japanese cock glued to a man’s hand and the Handerpants that made his life so much easier. We learn Sinead O’Connor is horny and loves anal. This leads to debate over hating artists simply because it’s cool to hate them and whether that’s truly fair or not.

Rhi brings us a hoax warning that there’s a panda on the rampage. Rhi rounds it out with some Whore News! We learn about slores and the slut gene! We’ve kept this one a bit shorter for you since last week’s ran so long. It’s only 45 minutes!

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