December 29, 2011

232: G-Spot Magician

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232: G-Spot Magician

Rhizzy Vizzy Deezy Beautiful Cover Girl! Grab both of your fists and put good stuff in your mouth while we put good stuff in your ear. The fallen angels are horny and it’s Christmas time. We discuss the need for donations, both for getting Rhian to the Mayo Clinic and to produce an Uncast porn video (or pictures if your donation is cheap). This also leads to doing a 50’s style PSA video on “How To Host An Orgy”.

Victoria finds an article with Gift Guides for sex toy enthusiasts. Victoria brings us her Christmas Awesome List and Rhian has a story about a dear baby seal who just wanted a nap on the couch. We also learn about the sungrazer comet that wouldn’t die. Rhian brings us Whore News including a banning of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

NAME DANIEL’S PENIS! You have until January 7th but don’t wait.
 

December 20, 2011

231: I’ll Heal Your Sories

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Victoria creates her own theme music which Rhian names “Electronic Hee Haw” and jump right into beer of the week. Daniel forgets what zodiac sign Rhian is. Victoria has a few rants but she starts it off by gloating that she can finish knitting a glove and record a podcast at the same time. These rants include Alec Baldwin, Twitter fake drama, bukkake and fisting (anyone surprised?), healing lily bits and Daniel’s penis, “The Chew”, ethnic restaurants like Tacos del Gordo and tequila. We also discuss Agave, Milagro and the few other awesome Mexican restaurants outside of Mexico.

We jump from this to decorating for Christmas. Rhian, for those who don’t know, is the Christmas decorating queen. Her trees and front door decorating in particular are well documented. This year, Victoria and Daniel join her by decorating the casa and it comes out looking spectacular! Victoria even made an Advent Calendar and it has turned out really fun and awesome. Victoria goes off on hippies and hipsters and we realize they really aren’t the same.  Rhian challenges us to see “Hair” before she arrives. We discuss IKEA and wanting to go out for dinner there for fun.

Victoria tells the story about a model that walked into a propeller. This should’ve been listed for Halloween perhaps. Adding onto that, she mentions finger twisting a llama and we have other ideas. Daniel asks the girls to give their opinions on 5 Things You Never Knew About Female Sexuality. Rhian brings us some disturbing Whore News including a story of a father who collapses after he hires a prostitute that ends up being his daughter and a school in Austria that will start offering sex courses. We end the show with a new Awesome List!

 

December 1, 2011

229: No One Puts Rhi In A Barrel

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We missed doing 227 the right way! Aww remeniscing is fun. Rhian likes to do things like the first time. We get into beer of the week and we lose Victoria’s attention. That’s right, she surfs the web and plays games during the show. Rhian agrees to come out to San Diego to help out around the Casa.

Victoria introduces the randomness of her mind and starts by stating the obvious: people need a license to make microwave popcorn in an unventilated area. Rhian and Daniel of course reminds us of the food fails that everyone already won’t let us live down. Victoria also shares her need for bourbon barrels so she can age everything in bourbon barrels. Daniel brings up Coca-Cola. Victoria then rants a bit about annoying tweets. We could go on about this for hours but we only spend a few minutes on it before moving on to Vivi’s two current crushes from Parks & Rec. She ends the segment by reminding us that we should not compare our relationships to those in Twilight. She’s QUITE excited about seeing Breaking Dawn: Part 1, btw.

Rhian and Victoria plan concert plans and this leads into a fan biting Britney Spears during her lap dance routine. Rhian brings up a Bitchin’ Kitchen article about the 5 Girly Drinks Guys Shouldn’t Be Ashamed To Drink. Rhian has to ask America what the fuck is wrong with us declaring pizza a vegetable. Rhian brings us some whore news where we learn about Niagra and fingerprinting strippers. We end the show by choosing the finalists for the “Name Daniel’s Penis” contest. The Poll will be up shortly and you will have at least a month to get your votes in! That was not meant as a euphemism but there ya go. We get this all in 69:54.

 

November 26, 2011

228: A Bowl Of Dick Hats

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228: A Bowl Of Dick Hats

Daniel and Victoria return from a Wedding weekend away in Sacramento, celebrating the union of our dear friends and listeners, Rachel & Victor. We start the show with Victoria wanting to create a French Beck cover band and wanting to be the modern day real life Cinderella. We have two beers of the week and we discuss some of the awesome foods that would work with them. This leads to a chocolate tasting, including a peanut butter and jelly bar that starts a sandwich discussion and somehow leads into the wedding weekend.

Rhian rants about the Duggars and their travels which leads to our own rants about people who have more kids than they can either afford or care for.  Victoria brings us an article about how beastiality leads to penis cancer and other STDs! Listener Junkenstein introduces us to Dick Hats and we segue that nicely into Victoria’s latest Awesome List! We top off the episode with Rhian’s Whore News as parents speak against an ex-porn star reading to their children.

 

November 17, 2011

227: Waist Up Until I Tell You To Stand Up

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227: Waist Up Until I Tell You To Stand Up

We come at you from all sides this week. Victoria has issues with lyrics, The DaHonays bring us “Marinade” and we rate it, we talk a bit of history and politics and then comes the sad news of a couple recent deaths. RIP Heavy D & Joe Frazier. We discuss transporting Rhian’s cat from Ottawa to San Diego.

RHIAN IS GOING TO THE MAYO CLINIC!!! You’ve all heard her interview on episode 206 and this trip could be her last chance at real treatment that could make a real positive difference. We have set up a fundraiser to help cover the costs for her so PLEASE DONATE or share if you can’t donate: http://www.giveforward.com/jointherhiarmy and send a little love to Rhian by helping to pay for treatment that could really improve her quality of life.

Daniel brings a few articles championing San Diego’s “Craft Cocktail” scene. We’ve already beaten the rest of the world at craft beer, now watch us kick ass with hard liquors. Rhian brings to our attention the continued existence of telephone chat lines. Victoria has a new Game Show idea called “Snatch For Catch”. Surprisingly we transition that into the Duggar family and our rant on this bullshit. When is enough, enough? We also ask at what age or point is it inappropriate to have sex with your child in the room? This awkwardsly leads into Whore News where we learn that coal miners (NOT Minors) need love too. We wrap things up in 1 hr, 6 min, 53 sec.

 

November 7, 2011

226: You Can’t Squirt With An Audience

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226: You Can’t Squirt With An Audience

Due to an mp3 upload error on Daniel’s part, 226 is temporarily unavailable. This should be fixed by  11/8/2011, 7pm Pacific Time. Sorry folks!

We start right off on this Halloween episode with awesome spiced beer and a new bukkake superhero. We have to explain to our live audience what bukkake is. Victoria also has lots of questions for our audience. This of course blends into fisting and why guys are weirded out by super kinky sex acts. This leads to squirting and Daniel has questions for those female listeners who have. Victoria brings up Thai ladyboys and this naturally segues into a story about a Shapeshifting Hooker. We get another entry in the “Name Daniel’s Penis” contest. If it’s turned purple, let go of it, man!We are really touched and honored to share some critical acclaim from someone close to the show. Bias much? You bet! We’ll still take it cause it’s real! Go check out Junkenstein’s blog and his new podcast, “Junk’s Trunk” which is ‘like a musical essay’ and really great. Victoria shares an article about a man who firebombed a Taco Bell due to a meat shortage in his Chalupa. We learn that China is now Cracking Down On Overly Entertaining TV. Victoria shares her ultimate shameber song. Click it, damn you! We end the show with Whore News about a topless woman that leads cops on a 200 km/hr chase. Now THAT’S a fast whore. Speaking of fast. We get this out in an hour, four minutes and nine seconds.
 

November 3, 2011

225: Fuck This Old House

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225: Fuck This Old House

We start right off discussing music. Vivi moves us right into making fun of the way her mom talks and this somehow links in with her current obsession with “Vampire Diaries”. Rhian brings up “Secret Circle” and we realize it’s something we’ve kind of all seen before in various forms. We bring up the beers of the week, including entries from the new DaH Brew! We field a few questions from the audience about beer and our opinions. We kinda love that sort of thing! We enjoy lunch at an awesome new pub in the San Marcos Restaurant Row called Sublime Ale House. The food is awesome, the beer selection is mostly local and amazing.

This leads us to discuss the 10 Foods That Should Exist. Rhian discusses discovering the Mayo Clinic and how a few phone calls might just save her life and get her back on her feet. We’re currently running a fundraiser to help her pay for this miracle. PLEASE JOIN THE RHI ARMY and help keep this glimmer of hope alive! Rhian brings us an article about MC Hammer Starting His Own Search Engine. So, no matter what you look up, U Can’t Touch This. Yeah, we just did that. You can’t get that back.

Victoria discusses the crazy predictable anomaly that is “American Horror Story” and comes up with a new band name in the middle of it all. We know that lots of high schools steal mascots and logos from universities and professional teams but we learn about one school that’s been given the full Cease and Desist. Armageddon is coming up here in about a year and we talk about some signs of it’s impending arrival. Rhi wraps this up with some Whore News and we get the show done within an hour and twelve minutes.

 

October 26, 2011

224: Occupy Rhian

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Live again from vokle.com. You’ll need to get high before listening to this one. Victoria and Rhian both have a lot on their hands in dealing with Daniel. We learn the origin of the phrase “Laundry List”. Victoria introduces a new business idea and we’re all appalled. Or not.  Guest listeners mistake vokle.com for myfreecams.com and we have to let them down gently. This also includes their requests for various animal noises. These people really like some freaky shit.

Rhian brings us a list (you know how we love our lists) of the 10 Foods For A Better Sex Life. After getting bored with the list Victoria and Rhian start hitting on each other instead. In the process of this and learn that Rhian does not play with food for sex. Not into it. Stop trying. We learn all about lubes thanks to a recent episode of Doctor Oz.

We discuss this Occupy movement and wonder what the hell is this movement really about? Why now? Are we supposed to be the 99% or the 1%? What if I’m the 13%? Do they even know what this is really about or is it just an opportunity for us to bitch about everything we’re upset about or see as unfair in the ‘system’? Is this actually going to change anything or is it one more example of a lot of people bitching and yelling for a while and then going back to their lives with nothing being done?

We do know we love our listeners and special thanks to FuzBubbles for adding us on GetGlue. Thanks, love! Rhian brings us 14 Words With No English Equivalent and we have a blast trying to pronounce them. We ask all of you working in a service that requires the cleaning of public restrooms. Can you maybe go in and clean those a lot more often? Every hour for malls and stores with high volume, 2-3 times a day for restaurants or low-volume stores, etc? We jump from that right into whore news dealing with dogs and the newly crowned “Whore-o-ween”.

 

October 6, 2011

221: Hipster Porno

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Victoria of the bitten boob, Rhian of the dry boob, Daniel says “It ain’t just my dick that heals!” This week we learn Rhian rides vacuums, you don’t bring a broom to a mop fight and don’t be a dick about not liking things. We check out Garfunkel & Oates live, Rhian has an MRI and a terrible fall and we spend a night tracking a falling satellite. There’s Superkid Nails, a couple movie reviews and we learn to use Grover as a verb. Victoria shares her strange obsesions and Daniel has to 9,000 up her. We ask for fan participation in this one. What are your thoughts on what it would be like to have the genitalia you lack? Rhian brings us articles on Guinea Pig Dating Services and Naked Protests in San Francisco. Anyone surprised at that last one? No? Me neither. It’s hecka sexy. So is this episode. All in an hour, 42 minutes, 50 seconds of hawtness.

 

September 15, 2011

219: Dough Face Palm

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We start the show right off with a selection from our new favorite brewery, Mazanita Brewery. Victoria wants everything that goes in her mouth to have a caramel center. We switch that to wanting pot butter in the middle of everything we eat or drink. We admit becoming too obsessed with Sims Social. This week we learn that Rhian doesn’t know who Ayn Rand is.Victoria’s article of the week is the 10 Insulting Words You Should Know. We review a couple of movies we recently watched: “The Town” and “The Adjustment Bureau”. Now we want dapper hats. We all brave through a disturbing new commercial for Luvs Diapers. Daniel brings 8 Essential Bacon Hacks and the 11 Most Unlikely Fetishesbecause he’s all about bacon and sex.Gumby tries to rob a local 7-11 and loses 27 cents out of the whole thing. Do you like fucking rafts? Well, Rhian brings the story for you. Apparently, it’s illegal in Ohio! Victoria brings an Awesome List and we end by talking more about our “Name Daniel’s Penis” contest. This show is 101 minutes of bescummin!!

WE WANT YOU!
Daniel’s penis needs a moniker fit to describe his magical manhood. So email, leave a comment at uncast.net, call 619-940-4SEX or leave the names on reply to one of us on Twitter or post it on Facebook. We’re taking entries until November 18th. Winner will get a large prize package including music and schwag from GuitarRob of Trainwreck In Sarasota fame.
 

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