December 13, 2011

230: Unbridled Corkage

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230: Unbridled Corkage

It’s Rhian’s Birthday! Victoria educates us on the pornish history of “Manna Manna” and that her idea of metal is Bon Jovi. This of course leads to a bit of JBJ hate. Victoria moves her hate onto The Muppets. Rhi and Daniel try to defend but we can’t convert her. Victoria tries to get us into the kids songs turned into pornos thing and she can’t convert us, so we’re even.

We drink a beer in honour of Rhian’s Birthday: Midnight Sun’s “Fallen Angel Ale”. We love it! Rhian had an amazing birthday weekend and she shares some of it with us! We discuss the holiday season a bit and what is the proper terms to use with strangers? MOVING ON! There’s a new segment on this show. We’re gonna call this one “Getting Corked with Rhian” and we ask her all sorts of wine related questions and she gives all sorts of wine related answers. Rhian regales us with a trio of stories for Whore News and we wrap it all up in an hour, 9 minutes and 40 seconds.

 

April 6, 2011

202: Crotchless Basket

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202: Crotchless Basket

It’s Universary 4 bitches! We’ve got tons of guests both old and new, it was Super Moon that night, there was lots of drinks flowing and great Victoria cooked foods as always and of course a show. The show begins with a HUGE announcement: Butch was not going to be there. Well, okay that wasn’t the real announcement but he really didn’t show.

On the show we grabbed a bunch of questions, asked them of everyone and got the conversation going that way. Turns out from our last party show, that’s a great way to keep a show going when you have 10-15 drunk guests on the show all at once. Daniel learns some shit from a podcast, Victoria has a very short Awesome List, Rhian has whore news as always and there’s a shared sexual fantasy that you have to hear to believe. Listen and you might even hear a point when it all got to be just a bit too much.

 

March 11, 2011

200: Lots Of Things Have Holes

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200: Lots Of Things Have Holes

Quote of the night: “If the nurses didn’t do me, then I probably didn’t get done”

Party in the Casa as Uncast celebrates episode 200. Hand mics all around means lots of static and a desk mic on the fritz. God and Master & Commander host a house full of freaks, geeks and weirdos. If you were there, you figure out which one you would marry, which you would f*k and which you would kill. We found out Prince is a nice ladyboy. We start a rousing game of “Really” where everyone drinks whenever Daniel says “Really”. This would turn into a game of “What’s wrong with you” where we drink everytime Rhian asks Daniel that question.

We pass around the bowl and play a blended game of truth & FMK. God spends most of the show trying to remain relevant. Victoria references a Buddy Rich joke without giving credit, followed up closely by a Mallrats reference. Hammocks & Volkswagons. We discuss the comfortability of sex on a pile of dying babies. We proceed to learn a lot about our guests. For instance, Allison would fuck a swan, Lura hates short people, Daniel is a pyro, Victoria wants to be Vishnu, Rhian didn’t start masturbating until her early 30s, Amy got caught by her landlord and   Butch once brought a woman back to life with a “Magic Chocolate Pill”. We go on to discuss odd sexual fantasies at length. We sing Happy Birthday (now 3 weeks late) to our pal Lambboy. Jim helps us end the show with a few FMK questions. By the end of this episode you’ll want to duct tape God and leave him in a closet within a cold abandoned warehouse in a seedy part of town.

 

November 30, 2010

192: Fuckin Awesome

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192: Fuckin Awesome

This week it’s Thanksgiving and it’s fucking cold! Notes are short and to the point. Victoria’s musical tastes have deteriorated and she explains how. We enjoyed a great Thanksgiving with family and a great trip to Arizona with the Dahonays who are like family. We enjoyed a great holiday beer and we talk about this whole TSA thing a bit. All wrapped up in just over an hour. How neat is that?!

 

July 16, 2010

180: Fuck Your Face

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180: Fuck Your Face

We have Rachel and Victor on the show this week! Yeah, we’re just now releasing an episode from our birthday weekend. Rachel even calls us out on it. I swear I will get better about that. Please forgive some of the sound quality (sudden volume changes and heavy breathing) as we were having a bit of a problem getting the mics to behave.

We start out with Rachel being a fripple. We somehow segue that into women not understanding baseball and numbers and hidden ball tricks don’t work with purses and shoes. We go into Victor’s thoughts on his first trip through PETCO Park and the lack of communication about other events going on in the ballpark at the same time. PETCO Park is thus given a new nickname by Victoria: Douchebag Stadium.

Somehow we get sidetracked to our exHalf-Mormonism and the girls take the show off the rails for a moment before the girls propose leaving Uncast to do their own show, so I may be doing auditions soon for a new co-host. Supposedly, being 500 miles apart, they’d do a 4 hour show every day. When that happens, Uncast will have retired 3 times like Michael Jordan and come back to rock the house Favre style every time.

Going back to baseball, there’s some ballpark talk about location and attraction of a park and Fenway Park comes up. We also get into upper deckers and the Philly Phanatic. Another awkward transition to reverse vampires. Victoria is going to Comic-Con and trying to touch Nathan Fillion without getting arrested. Add to that the nearly endless list of other hot geek-fan legends that will be there, the Glee Panel, the Merlin panel and the screening of “Once More With Feeling” and I may have to mop Victoria off the Convention Center floor.

We jump into REALLY OLD World Cup News: Rachel loves vuvuzelas, before getting into even older news…the games. More numbers means Victoria is more confused. She is into the Spanish footballers and thinks the Nigerians are also cute but afraid of the scams they’d pull.

We discuss birthday weekend with the San Diego International Beer Festival, the birthday party, some brewery visits and awesomeness. First, is it so hard to make the servers you hire at your festival know at least enough about the beers they’re serving? It was great seeing Jim Crute again at Lightning Brewery and we always enjoy their beers. Ballast Point gave Victoria smiles with their smoked ale. Zocalo Grill gave us an AWESOME dinner and then there was the party.

Victoria’s bubble bar idea was a smash hit and Porn Of Fortune is a fun party game. Of course Tings came out and we had to play a few rounds of that. Victor enjoyed the bourbon bacon ice cream and it got him nice a cozy. The party went out to the patio while four of us kinda crashed out early and Vudell crashed out for the second time in three years. Victor goes on about his excitement over the iPhone 4 and it’s kinda cute so check it out. We hit up Studio Diner for brunch and learn that a huge ass burrito is the best thing when you’re hungover.

Victoria goes into a rant and tirade about the LeBron James situation and we learn after the show that Jay-Z is actually part owner of the New Jersey Nets and not the New York Knicks. Finally ending on the three wise men and saying goodbye after an hour, 15 minutes and 29 seconds.

 

June 28, 2010

178: Over Zealous Vulvas

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178: Over Zealous Vulvas

We start the show right off with a list of beers we’ve had recently and what we thought of them. This brings out the idea that Pacman was a grapefruit. How does eating fruits make ghosts edible? Speaking of ghosts, we leave for West Virginia and learn about the deaths of two celebrities and two long-standing relationships. We discuss this West Virginia trip to see Rachel graduate high school and try out the local cuisine. There was laughter, there was tears, there was drama afterwards and we will not be going back anytime soon.

We saw a couple of movies in flight which helped shorten the trip and this got us in the mood for the World Cup. Already in the tournament stage by the time you hear it, we were kinda geeked about it when we recorded this. Victoria goes off on the MTV Movie Awards and the fall of Snoop’s lyrical talents and Katy Perry goes from kissing girls to being truly annoying. Of course she has more lyrics to complain about and this week it’s 99 Red Balloons and I Can’t Fight This Feeling.

Victoria discusses her trip with Becky to Arizona for a Passion Party with DaHonay. Victoria is designated a level 7 whore out of a scale of 1-5. She also declares her disgust at clitoral stimulators shaped like cute animals or butterflies. On the way home, to kill the boredom of the drive, they brought back “Kill, Marry or Fuck” which is slightly different from the Eat Kill or Fuck we played before. The ultimate is of course the men from “Full House”.

We discuss our time at the Coronado Brewery. Good food and good beer in a nice area of town. Apparently all it takes to be a good detective is black coffee, smoking cigarettes and fingering a lady in the library. What’s the best place to do that btw? Inspired by some funny podcast episodes, Victoria finds “The Prophecy is True” and “It achieved a consciousness” as great phrases to add to conversations. Inspired by Community we try to get “She/He said, fully erect” as a phrase to replace “That’s what he/she said”. Victoria puts M&Ms on notice about their pretzel M&Ms.

From there we move on to True Blood and Victoria thinks about how hot it would be to have sex with something that can move that fast. Tonguing, biting on the upper-inner thigh while fingering, nomming the nape of the neck while fucking, etc. It’s odd having a Vampire show in that kind of setting but it helps make it interesting. Victoria has also been getting hardcore into another TV show called Leverage. I’m not yet sure if I like it or not. After TV talk we jump into the start of the World Cup and determine we want Desmond Tutu for our grandpa. The games start off exciting with the USA drawing against England, Tshabalala is the greatest name in football next to Kaka and Germany crushes Australia. Victoria says soccer has the hottest guys and if ladies are looking for a sport to get into, this is it. So there’s a TON in this episode. Join us for all 77 minutes, 29 seconds of it!

 

March 29, 2010

170: Don’t Judge Me, Fuckers!

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170: Don’t Judge Me, Fuckers!

It’s Universary 3 beetches! The Return of The Return! We start this shit the way we do every Universary: Victoria drunk as hell and making all sorts of noise. As with our last episode, it starts with Kooza and bukkake, or as Allison calls it: When a mommy loves a daddy and a daddy and a daddy and a daddy… We’re doing this two guests at a time so no bukkake at this party. Butch worships at the alter of bukkake at church…which oddly turns out to be the Church of Awesome. Hmm interesting how that worked out. Aaron quickly offends Victoria by disparaging Victoria’s Canadian boyfriend, Michael Buble.

There’s some discussion about books the girls got off to as teens. We rehash the wireless headphones topic. We discuss favorite moments in the last year of Uncast and Victoria chastises Becky for her level of drunkedness. We discuss Malcolm Gladwell and geek holidays. Aaron reminds us who he would go gay for. Then he turns around and tries to disprove my gay/straight theory. Is it just a coincidence that Aaron deeply dislikes every celebrity Victoria lusts after in this episode? We’ll look into that one later. Aldo spanks Victoria so hard, a chair falls over and her ears fell off. Given that, she’s got an inexplicable fear of things that pop.

We move on to nipple piercing and the recovery time, Rhian’s amazingly beautiful toes, we all try to force alcohol down Neighbor Tony’s throat and we question labels for women of age who like to have sex with men of much younger age. New rule at Casa de Uncast: You can fuck on the couch but NO FUCKING THE COUCH! Victoria gets in a wrestling match with a helium balloon and loses. Aldo shows us his cocks and Daniel gets to stroke them. Victoria disappears from the show and comes back from the bedroom with missing underwear. We end the show after 1:23:42. Fuck us, we forgot to add the calls to the end of the show. We’ll have them in 171. Promise!

 

December 27, 2009

161: You Really Aren’t Going to Use All Of It

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161: You Really Aren’t Going to Use All Of It

It’s Christmas Eve! Beer reviews are awesome since we loved every beer we put in our mouths. We scour Craigslist for some free things Santa can pick up to give the not-quite-as-good little boys and girls. Daniel caught his first flu of the year. A song from 1992 becomes England’s “Song of the Year” for 2009. Glad to see the Brits are nearly caught up with us Yanks. We go through upcoming NFL games including the Game of The Week and Victoria’s work party where she gets her idea of the best white elephant gift.

Hero of the Week: Hannah Hubbell from Texas. This six-year old kid saved the day and I felt her story deserved a bit of our time. Hope you’ll enjoy hearing about it. Is there really some list guys keep and they check off whenever they have sex with people who meet some criteria on that list? Has anyone ever completed their list? Victoria expresses her love for our listener, The Godfather. I’m not sure what brought that out but yeah. Victoria shares her observation that Keira Knightley has great lips for fellatio. I don’t argue. Would you like her to take care of you in such a fashion? We end the episode with a few stupid lists. Voila! All done in 3,789 seconds.

We’d like to congradulate our good friends and listeners, Rachel and Victor on their recent engagement. We wish you long lives of health and happiness together.

Please also go check out our friends from Audiobuzzed, The DaH Theory, Keith and The Girl, The Scream, The Litterbox Podcast, I Love Lard, Preferential Treatment and many many others by going to uncast.net and clicking their link in the right margin.

In the meantime, write us at uncast.net@gmail.com or leave a comment on uncast.net OR you can even call us at (619) 940-4SEX

 

December 20, 2009

160: But You Have No Vagina

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160: But You Have No Vagina

This week we ask the question: What is the real draw with mermaids when they have no vaginas? Does this also mean there are no lesbian mermaids? We review two movies: Across The Universe and A Christmas Story. Just make the whole neighborhood spit on the kid before you pour boiling water on his tongue. Serves him right, the fucking hippie. All you need is love? NOT WITH THE POLE!

We realize Michelle Duggar is actually a rat. Why else would you have a 19th baby but to feed it to the other kids? We dig into sports and discuss the World Cup draws and of course the Game of the Week. Victoria buys some high heels and quickly learns why women don’t wear these all the time. She visits Friends of Cats and more clearly defines a true kitteh thug. We have a little bit of a stupid disagreement over who’s iPod is better: her new orange Nano or his iTouch.

Victoria has an Awesome List! This one’s a good blend of various things so you’ll wanna hear it. We touch on Tiger briefly. OK that was probably a poor choice of words. We’ve found our perfect breakfast place: The Incredible Cafe in Rancho Bernardo. Go check it out. A Local strip club catches fire while we’re recording. We discuss the company “end of year” party. We realize during this party that we are opposites and Daniel refuses to be Paula. He works his magic hands on the box and is awesome. The food, was NOT awesome.

Victoria adds in a few juvenile takes on things like a Meat Stick Bonanza, Dutch Ovens and rape tomatoes. The weapon of choice: Corn syrup and glitter a la tar and feathering. You get all this in 72 minutes. Like it? Hate it? Tells us by leaving comments at uncast.net or emailing us at uncast.net@gmail.com OR CALL US! (619) 940-4SEX (4738)

 

August 22, 2009

147: Fuck You, You’re The Cat

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147: Fuck You, You’re The Cat

Right off the bat I warn you this is well over two hours long. We recorded this on the night of August 13th and again August 17th. Plus there’s a song at the end. It’s been too long since we put an episode out so I just put the two together without any real editing.

Victoria starts the show right off by making the claim that if Obama tells the press what his true favorite beer is, it will make children drink that beer. We do a few movie reviews including the girls review of 500 Days of Summer, Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince, Twilight and the last Broadway performance of RENT. The girls talk about their day at San Diego State University campus including how to do if you want to avoid getting penis up the butt on the trolley and our day visiting family.  We play a rousing game of Eat Kill or Fuck and I tell some things I learned from podcasts this week. There’s a bit of sports news (that is now OLD NEWS) and we discuss a few sex related articles just to annoy the sister.

Starting the second half the show we discuss our Anniversary night and Rachel’s weekend with her dad. We learn Victoria is the teenager of the couple. Then we move on to a couple lists from Sugarslam.com. KISS has a new album and we wonder who’s more of a sell-out: KISS for selling their album at Wal-Mart or Wal-Mart for selling their album. Victoria brings up some celebrity tweets and we bring a question to the table from our listener, Yummy Lane: why do people ask your opinion then tell you that your wrong? I follow that up by asking why ask for advice and then give a million reasons why you can’t follow it? Katy Perry also gives props for her awkward chest to God.

Links:
Go visit our new friends at Masters of None Podcast!
Also our dear friends at Litterbox Podcast. They’re joining us in the fight against Lupus. Go support them!
Five Incredibly Impractical Sexual Fetishes
36 Words You Should Never Say In Bed
20 Greatest High School Proms of All-Time
The 40 Hottest 25 and Under Female Celebrities
“God made my boobs bigger” – Katy Perry
Check out Rachel’s new favorite band: Metro Station
EAT HERE!!! Currant Restaurant for Absinthe Minded Fridays and their AWESOME popcorn and frites!

Go visit uncast.net and donate for Lupus and Victoria needs toys! Daniel needs beers!
Give us a call at our new phone line: (619) 940-4SEX that’s 619-940-4739

 

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