222: Meatsicle

Our first live show at Vokle.com! we start off with our beer of the week and learn that Rhian is an angel and therefore was immaculately conceptualized. Yeah I used the wrong word on purpose. Victoria is not allowed around sharp instruments anymore after she nearly sheared the side of her finger tip off blindly reaching into the sink.

Daniel introduces a 12-step recovery from Juggalism program, thanks to Adult Swim. Daniel needs to learn games. Rhian says she knows Asshole and is really good at it. We’ll learn what she means by that later. Rhian has a crazy psycho dream and we all learn about her new band, Meatsicle. TLC’s “How Stuff Works” brings us the 10 Things Your Kid Should Not Be For Halloween and Daniel shares things he recently learned from podcasts.

Rhian brings an article about a Kansas man that accidentally stole six EMPTY xxx DVD cases. She also brings us two whore news stories: A couple enjoys sex on their balcony in Australia and on the other, organizers of a Swiss farming calendar got a lot of slack for including girls in bikinis.

Victoria of the bitten boob, Rhian of the dry boob, Daniel says “It ain’t just my dick that heals!” This week we learn Rhian rides vacuums, you don’t bring a broom to a mop fight and don’t be a dick about not liking things. We check out Garfunkel & Oates live, Rhian has an MRI and a terrible fall and we spend a night tracking a falling satellite. There’s Superkid Nails, a couple movie reviews and we learn to use Grover as a verb. Victoria shares her strange obsesions and Daniel has to 9,000 up her. We ask for fan participation in this one. What are your thoughts on what it would be like to have the genitalia you lack? Rhian brings us articles on Guinea Pig Dating Services and Naked Protests in San Francisco. Anyone surprised at that last one? No? Me neither. It’s hecka sexy. So is this episode. All in an hour, 42 minutes, 50 seconds of hawtness.

This week is classic Uncast. We start off trying to talk beer but get sidetracked by the Fallen Angels discussions on a new idea for IKEA (check the title). We finally get around to discussing the beer and it turns out to be worthy of nothing but…well, nothing. Our first article of the week is Cracked’s list of The 5 Things You Do Every Day That Are Actually Addictions.

We discuss new comedy shows we’ve seen, including the easy to hate yet hilarious Bo Burnham and the easy to love yet blended reviewed Wyatt Cenac. We discuss seals defending people, and the pros and cons of recent internet memes. There’s the stupidity of A Woman Asked To Remove Her Pot Shirt At A Willie Nelson Concert and then there’s dueling Whore News stories. First, there’s more Erotic Dancing On A Plane and then there’s a barmaid that has the local wives steaming mad. She looks like old wet leather that’s been ridden hard and beaten mercilessly. All this and more in an hour, a minute and forty some seconds.

Butch joins us this week, so naturally the show starts out with talk of golden showers and men he’d go gay for. We discuss a Deathcab for Cutie concert, what Vivi would do to see Florence + The Machine and why Rhi hates The Postal Service. We try our first sampling from Iron Fist Brewing and love it.

There’s all sorts of food talk from the horrors of Denny’s new cheese menu to the amazing food and drinks at Agave Grill in Ottawa. We introduce our Bear Of The Week when Victoria goes on a rampage about a certain internet meme poster. This leads to talks of teddy bear picnics, bears in the gay community and finally Butch’s latest business idea.

Uncast is trying to plan out an Armageddon party at the end of 2012. It will be full of drinking, debauchery and putting Viagra buckets on people’s heads. We learn there are a lot of things Victoria doesn’t know. She doesn’t know the Spanish word for cheese nor does she know the correct song that was #1 the week we were born. BTW, that would be “Shadow Dancer” by Andy Gibb, NOT “Stayin’ Alive” by The Bee Gees. Close but no queso.

We learn once again that Rhian is a REAL witch and not just some fake movie version. Victoria states that she wants to be committed and then she promptly leaves the show. Rhian brings us a Canadian article and plugs a philanthropic dance group run by a dear friend of hers. Check out Lanie Dance, people. It’s for the best. Remember, Rhi’s witchy. She also brings us some Whore News.

Lastly, we have a NEW CONTEST!! If Victoria can have apple pie and Rhian has her lily bits, then wtf are we to call Daniel’s magic penis? YOU CAN DECIDE!!
That’s right. Send in all your submissions for possible names either by leaving comments on uncast.net or by emailing us at uncast.net@gmail.com. You have until November 19th to submit. The hosts will then narrow down the names to a tiny group of finalists. YOU will vote on the final winner, to be announced on the first episode with Rhi back live at the Casa. Tat gives all of you until the clock strikes 2012 to submit the final votes. Whoever has come up with the winning name, will win a nice large boxed prize (No it’d be funny but it’s not what you’re thinking). We’re thinking other finalists may also possibly win a little sumpin’ sumpin’.

We jump all over a couple of Manzanita beers and rave on both. Victoria gets talking about “The Wire” and phrases she can’t stop saying. There’s a cake hotel for all of us. We share some cool quotes from a Twitter buddy. We hear a story of a Japanese cock glued to a man’s hand and the Handerpants that made his life so much easier. We learn Sinead O’Connor is horny and loves anal. This leads to debate over hating artists simply because it’s cool to hate them and whether that’s truly fair or not.

Rhi brings us a hoax warning that there’s a panda on the rampage. Rhi rounds it out with some Whore News! We learn about slores and the slut gene! We’ve kept this one a bit shorter for you since last week’s ran so long. It’s only 45 minutes!

216: Jesus Take a Side

This week, we’re visited by Trainwreck In Sarasota, aka GuitarRob. After introductions are made and a couple initial questions, we go into our hellish weeks. Victoria found special surprises when cleaning out her desk for a move. Daniel says goodbye to a couple of co-workers after a crazy week. Rhian goes swimming again, visits with her mom and watches storms coming down the river. Her Aunt passed away and we memorialize her a bit.

We enjoy Stone’s new Anniversary Ale and rag on Victoria a bit for saying it’s too hoppy. We discuss new music with Rob and where he’s going next. We move from there to our inner geekness. This includes a CollegeHumor list on SuperHero Sex Moves. We go into a discussion on the mile-high club and Rhian brings us a story about “Safety First” at Domino’s Pizza. The conversation from this is worth listening to. Somehow we segue into Australian licorice and the creepiness of American Apparel. Victoria advocates child labour. She also mentions A&F paying The Situation to stop wearing its clothes.

On a serious side, Rob mentions that half of all donations towards his music goes towards Lupus Research and Advocacy and this brings up a long discussion on just how serious day to day life is for those who have to live with Lupus. There’s no other way to follow up such a serious topic than by discussing Burger King dropping the King from it’s ad campaign, which leads to Victoria wanting him in bed with her (along with Jack in the Box, Ronald McDonald and fast food mascots) and the rest of us trying to convince her she’s wrong. This also brings up an impromptu “Kill, Marry, Fuck”. Victoria again tries to get me to heal children with my magic penis. So wrong. We end it with Whore News where a pantsless woman got kicked off a JetBlue plane but American Airlines let a man fly on a plane wearing women’s underwear. This is a long two hours, 13 minutes and 23 seconds long! Love it like you love your group sex: in parts or as a whole.

Check out Trianwreck In Sarasota!
http://noisetrade.com/trainwreckinsrasota
twitter.com/guitarrobkatg
twitter.com/trainwreckis

We start right off with racism, urination and riots. It gets weirder from there? Only you can say. Victoria reviews The Social Network and we discuss one of the births of the internet. Victoria brings us now well circulated “10 Reasons Why Bear Week Would Be Better Than Shark Week” including a picture.

Daniel shares five things you probably didn’t know about orgasms and we celebrate “Yadda Yadda Yadda” being added to the OED. This brings us to phrases we love to use. Easy transition to Food Truck Names and BAM! You get Smurf Talents! Rhian’s Whore News includes the false idea that a nicer apartment will get you laid by more women. 54 minutes in total.

210: Pump Me Full of Beer and iCarly

Daniel’s sister, Rachel joins us for the summer! We go into a few TV shows we’re watching recently and a quick movie review. New York makes same sex marriage legal and we celebrate. We celebrate our “Jesus Birthday” this year. We play a cute phone message from a listener and future guest, Guitar Rob.

Victoria informs us that orcas and dolphins are the same. We also dscuss how they are assholes. Then we learn the ICP tries to put a stop to the UCB. Victoria brings an Awesome List and we’re all grateful! Rhian explains why Sims 3 is awesome and ways to cheat and “woohoo” in public. Malcolm runs for Mayor. A woman dies at her own funeral. We discuss baseball in Alaska and California pansies before diving into Whore News. This time a man joins the mile high club by himself!

205: Gimme the Full Frontal

Recorded the first weekend of May, this is Rhian’s first Uncast hosting gig away from the Casa. We discuss the weekend of crazy including: Victoria needs hats, royals are weird, deaths galore and why Canada is not allowed to vote anymore. Rhian discusses her trip back to Canada and how we miss her so much.

Cinnamon has a new boyfriend. We call him Jack. Jack is not an animal, plant and may not even be a mineral. Victoria has a new requirement for her “Birthday Song”. Victoria and Daniel get new phones and it’s a civil war all of a sudden. We discuss our favorite applications. Victoria has a new idea for a series of children’s books. I would say you won’t believe it but you probably will. Someone is also the last one to understand the not-so-hidden meaning in the name RU486. Victoria brings a lot of stuff out of the left field of her mind.

After all this and an hour into the show, we start getting into a few articles and end with whore news! The links for the show can be found below. After Andrea reads some tweets from Victoria’s mom, the episode ends just under an hour twenty-five. ENJOY!

Links:
Two galaxies colliding into a rose
BeerCandy
Man Bursts Into Flames In S.F. Porn Shop
Whore News – Date Goes Wrong
Whore News – Kissing Box

204: All Yur Holes R Filled w/ Bad Puddins

Recorded April 10th, we start right off with an awesome beer from Irondale Brewery. Eunichs mess up Victoria’s head but we fix it with Corralejo resposado tequila. Eunichs as midgets? We move from eunichs to pregnant Juggalettes. Somehow this leads to a disturbing PSA. Warning, it’s worse than eunichs and pregnant Jugalettes.

I bring in things I learned from Podcasts. This includes but is not limited to new “facts” about St Patrick’s Day, STDs caught from Thrift Store clothes, sex with an epileptic at a rave and using Cadbury Eggs in ways they were not intended. Victoria gives an invite to all involving their exposed selves and dulce de leche. We have a question for the audience: Can you get throat STDs? I’m thinking herpes might be a possibility but what about others?

Beer of the Week: Irondale Brewery Johnny Mo’s Tres Vieux IPA (204): An unfiltered IPA, Victoria and Daniel love this beer! Great IPA. Rhian says it’s strong but tastes good and this is coming from a wine whore. Victoria says it smells like pot (hops anyone?) and Daniel keeps praising it. As IPAs go, one of our favorites and a solid 5 out of 6 if not higher.

Victoria brings up e-cigarettes and how they’re becoming popular among some of our friends, and raises them with the e-pipe. Birthday present idea: E-Pipe, smoking jacket and an ascot. Victoria asks question number two to the audience: What do Transformers Zombies eat? Rhian offers the theory that Transformer corpse disposal is the cause of the troubles in Japan right now.

Victoria Beckham is trying to name their youngst daughter “Santa”. Santa Beckham. Cause Beast-Man or Evil-Lynn was already taken, Skeletor? Nothing good can come of this! Daniel talks about the start of baseball, soccer and the NHL Playoffs. Victoria wrongly guesses that I have a thing for gold and green. I like ONE team with those colors! Pay more attention, whore! Talk of NFL mascots brings up hot dogs shot from guns like t-shirts. Cause no one wants to be hit in the eye by a hot weiner.

Rhian brings us an article and some Whore News. First up, The Onion parodies Canada. This brings up a fun CBC Special by Rick Mercer called “Talking To Americans”. We discuss how the Bloc Quebecois are corndogging it when it comes to life in general. We segue into whore news by discussing’s Rhian’s past “moments” with hockey players. We hear about Blood-Scented Perfume and how we’re Living In the Corgi Epoch. We end the show with an awesome Awesome List and say hi to all of our friends. Check out the shows on our sidebar. They’re awesome!

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