282: Your Child May Be Ugly

Your baby: Cute or NOPE? You play along. We enjoy a well-balanced Stone beer. Cinnamon gets into shit. Booze Brothers & Barrel Harbor breweries entertain our beer cravings. Victoria likes Hearthstone but some guys can be flat out dickholes. Victoria shares dumb Buzzfeed article suggestions.

Racist stores bring Victoria new business ideas and we bring you the racist news of the week with Donald Sterling and Cliven Bundy. We pick up beer of the week #2 before finishing up RNW with an epic reaction to racist football fans. Speaking of, we had an epic time with the SD Mixtape Society and if you’re in the area and enjoy discovering and sharing music, you should come join us in June!

There are entirely too many damn trending topics related to One Direction! Closing pitchers should not come out to “Sweet Home Alabama.” Daniel rants about a difficult situation many men might know about. This leads to a Facebook rant. TL;DL Go back to using diaries and Fuck Buzzfeed. One thing that doesn’t suck? GoExplore.Net – Check it out people.

278: You Might Have A Tongue In Your Penis

Daniel survived and Johnny Depp wishes he was Ironborn. Starting the show right off with Game of Thrones discussion. This turns into a debate about being a geek about superficial things and researching comparable real-life subjects. Then there’s arguing over dragon before we get to the first beer of the week, Aztec Brewing’s Hibiscus Wheat Ale.

 

First question to YOU: where did circumision start? Why the penis? Couldn’t we have just shown our commitment to God by cutting off a digit or an ear, like van Gogh? Yes, I just called God a hooker. Speaking of hookers, Russia invaded Ukraine and we discuss holding off judgment on that or not. We’ve obviously learned more since this was recorded. This leads to talk of the missing Malaysia Airlines flight. Do it weird you out as much as it does us?

 

Beer of the week numero dos is Bayhawk Ales Chocolate Porter. We don’t like it. Move on. San Diego celebrated Burger Week and Happy Hour Week earlier this month. Go get you some! Beer number three is Clown Shoes Beer Vampire Slayer Imperial American Stout. Victoria rounds out the show with a new Awesome List.

 

Universary is in a couple of days! Friday March 14, we’re doing Blind Lady Ale House at 2pm, then CPK, and then the Veronica Mars movie! Saturday is Universary and the party starts at Belching Beaver North Park at 12:30pm and Hess Brewing North Park after. Then meet us at Casa de Uncast at 7pm!

 

You get custom audio in this episode:

Opening Theme: Dornishman’s Wife by Karliene Reynolds (Buy her album, “Dreams of Fire” here)

Closing Theme: Choral GoT Theme by Lewis Fitzjohn and Hawthorn

 

Check out our blogs! Victoria and Daniel

Check out our friends! Clusterpop & The Fist & So How You Doin

Follow us on Twitter: @uncastnet and @lushrain

Follow us on Facebook: facebook.com/uncast

277: Oscars Beer and Stuff

Welcome to the 2014 Oscars episode of Uncast. We also spend a lot of time talking about beer, the Olympics, games and other things. Let the race begin.

OK so for The Oscars, here’s a recap: Ellen was cool, pizza delivery was not. Lupita Nyong’o winning was cool, The Art of Killing losing was not. It sooo was not. “Let It Go” was a beautiful anthem song and Vivi was seemingly the only person happy that McConaughey won for Best Actor. 23 minutes in, we hate goodbyes and endings too but it’s time to move on to another topic.

The Olympics just ended and we haven’t really talked about anything more than the sex the athletes were having. Does anything else matter? Yes. The fact that we missed so much because events aired at 4am Pacific Time.

Beers of the Week include an old favorite of ours from Great Divide Brewing and a new found favorite from Butcher’s Brewing. Get them if you can. We hit breweries numbers 5 and 6 in our tour of San Diego breweries. Oh and also related, check out Mary’s Donuts in Santee. We also hit up Twisted Manzanita Ales for a flight of their seasonal ales. Check out our Beer Review page for more on those. Length 1:11:24

274: Huddling is Cuddling

UNIVERSARY 7 is MARCH 15. Mark your calendar, buy your tickets, and arrange your hotel. Or stay with us. Why? Z. C. C is for Cookie. In Soviet Russia, cookie sees you. If Vivi fucks a pie, is that scissoring? We be laying tracks, yo. Poll of the week: Did you have any clue that Christian Bale was in “Newsies?” Non-responses will count as “No” responses.

The guys haven’t seen Godfather 2 or 3. Victoria gets all kinds of judgmental. Victoria tells about her video game town and Daniel gets all kinds of judgmental. People go to the spa for jizz in the face. We get into a Reddit thread about everyday customs that are actually kinda weird when you think about it. Victoria hates Lagunitas. We discuss a conversation between @cavaticat and @jeffsaporito from this week that amused Daniel through his lunch break. Vivi and Butch of course feed off this.

Daniel has a business idea. Victoria has a theory. So do vaginas resemble the eye of Sauron? Want to motorboat a woman’s asshole? Don’t judge us! We’re normaler! Evidence? Magic is real. A student was actually suspended for casting a magic spell which made her teacher sick. Lastly, Victoria needs some help with her Valentine’s Day card slogans. Send your entries to uncast.net@gmail.com!

As you may be able to tell from the title, watch the first step. This show’s a doozy. We start off with narcophilia before moving on to Victoria forcing her vagina to read. No not teaching, forcing. We discuss cartoons that aren’t just for kids, Daniel creates his yearly geeky twist on the NCAA Bracket. Let’s just say this year tops last year.

256: My Illiterate Vagina

We discover war dolphins that went AWOL for bottlenose poon, golden showers aren’t for us, keeping a whore journal, Victoria’s whacky teen bucket list, our game night with Becky and Victoria’s shower Bane. Yes, the Batman villain. We end with time travel and the stump amendment. Don’t question it. Just listen.

248: All It Took Is One Drop

We’re missing Rhian this week and it takes two guests and a very drunk Daniel to make up for it. We’re hoping she will be home soon so she can join us on the show again soon. We start the show off with Daniel, already drunk and belligerent, making Victoria the first scapegoat of the show. This backfires quickly and all hell breaks loose, like an ape-seal Snooki. That’s how we START the show.

From there we jump right into the show title topic and folks, it ain’t gettin any classier. We give our review of Cards Against Humanity. Victoria gives us the Beer of the Week this week, which was the New Belgium/Lost Abbey Lips of Faith version of the Brett Beer. Somehow this leads us down a dark road of aggressive Italians, stinky Belgians and risque hotel sex. We discuss the awesomeness that is Cookie Butter and then on to handicapped haunted house movie. This transitions into talk of Daniel being old-fashioned for demanding that his sexual partners knowingly consent to his advances. I did warn you earlier this was going downhill, right? OK then. We move on.

Yeah so Daniel hits a new level of drunk from here and the show just devolves. Victoria, Butch and Andrea try to take back control and are almost successful at times. There’s still an admission of watching gruesome porn and Daniel not just hitting the wall but obliterating it. Victoria goes on to discuss her obsession with zombie survival scenarios and brings in the shotgun option. This leads to talk about a kill van she saw on the way home and her new circus. Butch tries to talk about stuff going on in his awesome life and it devolves into auto-erotic self-mastication.

240: Nailed to the Cross

Happy Easter everyone! Two weeks late. Heh. Yeah we’ll get to the reasons for that in the next show unless you all follow us all on Twitter and Facebook and you know already. As for this show, Vivi introduces us to a new threesome sex position. A very specific strange fetish kinda position. There’s a very different beer of the week this week and it’s a strange one indeed. We review that along with the new movie The Hunger Games and the TV Series Game of Thrones which recently started it’s second season.

Victoria wins a new boxed game while Rhian and Daniel win a couple of awards of their own! Ooh la la! Daniel brings some sports news (though obviously not news at this point, silly) and we discuss some real life hybrid animals. Rhian comes hard with some awesome Whore News…as always and this ends the show just under the hour mark which is where we like it.

Everyone check out our friend’s podcasts there on the right and maybe even donate a few bucks to help out Rhian and the show! We’d love to hear from you! Call us, write us, leave comments, just let us know you’re listening and what you think!

222: Meatsicle

Our first live show at Vokle.com! we start off with our beer of the week and learn that Rhian is an angel and therefore was immaculately conceptualized. Yeah I used the wrong word on purpose. Victoria is not allowed around sharp instruments anymore after she nearly sheared the side of her finger tip off blindly reaching into the sink.

Daniel introduces a 12-step recovery from Juggalism program, thanks to Adult Swim. Daniel needs to learn games. Rhian says she knows Asshole and is really good at it. We’ll learn what she means by that later. Rhian has a crazy psycho dream and we all learn about her new band, Meatsicle. TLC’s “How Stuff Works” brings us the 10 Things Your Kid Should Not Be For Halloween and Daniel shares things he recently learned from podcasts.

Rhian brings an article about a Kansas man that accidentally stole six EMPTY xxx DVD cases. She also brings us two whore news stories: A couple enjoys sex on their balcony in Australia and on the other, organizers of a Swiss farming calendar got a lot of slack for including girls in bikinis.

178: Over Zealous Vulvas

We start the show right off with a list of beers we’ve had recently and what we thought of them. This brings out the idea that Pacman was a grapefruit. How does eating fruits make ghosts edible? Speaking of ghosts, we leave for West Virginia and learn about the deaths of two celebrities and two long-standing relationships. We discuss this West Virginia trip to see Rachel graduate high school and try out the local cuisine. There was laughter, there was tears, there was drama afterwards and we will not be going back anytime soon.

We saw a couple of movies in flight which helped shorten the trip and this got us in the mood for the World Cup. Already in the tournament stage by the time you hear it, we were kinda geeked about it when we recorded this. Victoria goes off on the MTV Movie Awards and the fall of Snoop’s lyrical talents and Katy Perry goes from kissing girls to being truly annoying. Of course she has more lyrics to complain about and this week it’s 99 Red Balloons and I Can’t Fight This Feeling.

Victoria discusses her trip with Becky to Arizona for a Passion Party with DaHonay. Victoria is designated a level 7 whore out of a scale of 1-5. She also declares her disgust at clitoral stimulators shaped like cute animals or butterflies. On the way home, to kill the boredom of the drive, they brought back “Kill, Marry or Fuck” which is slightly different from the Eat Kill or Fuck we played before. The ultimate is of course the men from “Full House”.

We discuss our time at the Coronado Brewery. Good food and good beer in a nice area of town. Apparently all it takes to be a good detective is black coffee, smoking cigarettes and fingering a lady in the library. What’s the best place to do that btw? Inspired by some funny podcast episodes, Victoria finds “The Prophecy is True” and “It achieved a consciousness” as great phrases to add to conversations. Inspired by Community we try to get “She/He said, fully erect” as a phrase to replace “That’s what he/she said”. Victoria puts M&Ms on notice about their pretzel M&Ms.

From there we move on to True Blood and Victoria thinks about how hot it would be to have sex with something that can move that fast. Tonguing, biting on the upper-inner thigh while fingering, nomming the nape of the neck while fucking, etc. It’s odd having a Vampire show in that kind of setting but it helps make it interesting. Victoria has also been getting hardcore into another TV show called Leverage. I’m not yet sure if I like it or not. After TV talk we jump into the start of the World Cup and determine we want Desmond Tutu for our grandpa. The games start off exciting with the USA drawing against England, Tshabalala is the greatest name in football next to Kaka and Germany crushes Australia. Victoria says soccer has the hottest guys and if ladies are looking for a sport to get into, this is it. So there’s a TON in this episode. Join us for all 77 minutes, 29 seconds of it!

147: Fuck You, You’re The Cat

Right off the bat I warn you this is well over two hours long. We recorded this on the night of August 13th and again August 17th. Plus there’s a song at the end. It’s been too long since we put an episode out so I just put the two together without any real editing.

Victoria starts the show right off by making the claim that if Obama tells the press what his true favorite beer is, it will make children drink that beer. We do a few movie reviews including the girls review of 500 Days of Summer, Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince, Twilight and the last Broadway performance of RENT. The girls talk about their day at San Diego State University campus including how to do if you want to avoid getting penis up the butt on the trolley and our day visiting family.  We play a rousing game of Eat Kill or Fuck and I tell some things I learned from podcasts this week. There’s a bit of sports news (that is now OLD NEWS) and we discuss a few sex related articles just to annoy the sister.

Starting the second half the show we discuss our Anniversary night and Rachel’s weekend with her dad. We learn Victoria is the teenager of the couple. Then we move on to a couple lists from Sugarslam.com. KISS has a new album and we wonder who’s more of a sell-out: KISS for selling their album at Wal-Mart or Wal-Mart for selling their album. Victoria brings up some celebrity tweets and we bring a question to the table from our listener, Yummy Lane: why do people ask your opinion then tell you that your wrong? I follow that up by asking why ask for advice and then give a million reasons why you can’t follow it? Katy Perry also gives props for her awkward chest to God.

Links:
Go visit our new friends at Masters of None Podcast!
Also our dear friends at Litterbox Podcast. They’re joining us in the fight against Lupus. Go support them!
Five Incredibly Impractical Sexual Fetishes
36 Words You Should Never Say In Bed
20 Greatest High School Proms of All-Time
The 40 Hottest 25 and Under Female Celebrities
“God made my boobs bigger” – Katy Perry
Check out Rachel’s new favorite band: Metro Station
EAT HERE!!! Currant Restaurant for Absinthe Minded Fridays and their AWESOME popcorn and frites!

Go visit uncast.net and donate for Lupus and Victoria needs toys! Daniel needs beers!
Give us a call at our new phone line: (619) 940-4SEX that’s 619-940-4739

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