April 29, 2012

241: I Put A Whistle On My Vagina

Posted by uncast under Episodes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |
Leave a Comment 

241: I Put A Whistle On My Vagina

Rhian apologizes for her voice and Victoria apologizes for nothing in this episode. We discuss a juice cleanse found in Oprah’s magazine and diarhettic comas. We talk about Rhian’s recent stay in the hospital, transfusion number two and Rhian 3.0 is born. For the story on that, visit her blog at Rhiloaded.com.

Victoria lays down some ultimatums and “it’s either this or this but it has to be one of the two or both” type shit on Daniel. Yet again she demands a phallus to poke a donut. The God provides when the mortals prove they’re deserving of those things they seek. Rhian invents a transformer that’s both eyeglasses and a vibrator. Finally we drop into the beer of the week. Another Californian invention worth drinking. This time Drake’s Drakonic Imperial Stout.

We then go into Hunger Games talk and Victoria decides the tribute character she’d be if she was in the story. She also brings us the 13 worst things to do with your vagina. I have to question her decision making skills this episode. Game of Thrones comes up again and Vivi reveals her need to have a torrid affair with Tyrion Lannister. Now I’m SURE she has poor decision making skills this episode.

Rhian and Daniel talk about local San Diego food and one specific block of places in particular that we need to try. There’s a brief discussion of 50 Shades of Grey before Rhian saves the show with Whore News. This week: the recent trend of briefly replacing the news with porn.

 

March 8, 2012

237: Take A Drink Every Time Vivi Says “Like”

Posted by uncast under Episodes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , |
Leave a Comment 

237: Take A Drink Every Time Vivi Says “Like”

Vivi starts right off by offending Buddhists everywhere. Vivi hypes up Universary V by rehashing the topics that led up to Uncast: Episode 1. Way better than its Star Wars counterpart. We enjoy another bourbon barrel-aged beer and in not related news, share our love for Lightning Brewery and owner/head brewer Jim Crute. We discuss the last episode,  Victoria’s absence from the later half and people who really should know how to work a mic NOT knowing how to work a mic. Promises of Cheesecake Dip abound.

We discuss threesomes with brooms and dustbins, a child swallows 37 Buckyballs and snowblower accidents. This somehow leads to Victoria’s love of Jason Statham. Victoria presents us with an Awesome List and Daniel adds things he learned from podcasts. We finish up with some great Whore News IN SPACE!

Want to join us for Universary V?! Leave a comment at uncast.net or Facebook.com/uncast, call us at 619-940-4SEX or email uncast.net@gmail.com to let us know! Party March 17, 2012 at Casa de Uncast starts at noon with a Three-Brewery tour and then a party at 7pm.

 

December 20, 2011

231: I’ll Heal Your Sories

Posted by uncast under Episodes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |
Leave a Comment 

Victoria creates her own theme music which Rhian names “Electronic Hee Haw” and jump right into beer of the week. Daniel forgets what zodiac sign Rhian is. Victoria has a few rants but she starts it off by gloating that she can finish knitting a glove and record a podcast at the same time. These rants include Alec Baldwin, Twitter fake drama, bukkake and fisting (anyone surprised?), healing lily bits and Daniel’s penis, “The Chew”, ethnic restaurants like Tacos del Gordo and tequila. We also discuss Agave, Milagro and the few other awesome Mexican restaurants outside of Mexico.

We jump from this to decorating for Christmas. Rhian, for those who don’t know, is the Christmas decorating queen. Her trees and front door decorating in particular are well documented. This year, Victoria and Daniel join her by decorating the casa and it comes out looking spectacular! Victoria even made an Advent Calendar and it has turned out really fun and awesome. Victoria goes off on hippies and hipsters and we realize they really aren’t the same.  Rhian challenges us to see “Hair” before she arrives. We discuss IKEA and wanting to go out for dinner there for fun.

Victoria tells the story about a model that walked into a propeller. This should’ve been listed for Halloween perhaps. Adding onto that, she mentions finger twisting a llama and we have other ideas. Daniel asks the girls to give their opinions on 5 Things You Never Knew About Female Sexuality. Rhian brings us some disturbing Whore News including a story of a father who collapses after he hires a prostitute that ends up being his daughter and a school in Austria that will start offering sex courses. We end the show with a new Awesome List!

 

November 7, 2011

226: You Can’t Squirt With An Audience

Posted by uncast under Episodes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |
Leave a Comment 

226: You Can’t Squirt With An Audience

Due to an mp3 upload error on Daniel’s part, 226 is temporarily unavailable. This should be fixed by  11/8/2011, 7pm Pacific Time. Sorry folks!

We start right off on this Halloween episode with awesome spiced beer and a new bukkake superhero. We have to explain to our live audience what bukkake is. Victoria also has lots of questions for our audience. This of course blends into fisting and why guys are weirded out by super kinky sex acts. This leads to squirting and Daniel has questions for those female listeners who have. Victoria brings up Thai ladyboys and this naturally segues into a story about a Shapeshifting Hooker. We get another entry in the “Name Daniel’s Penis” contest. If it’s turned purple, let go of it, man!We are really touched and honored to share some critical acclaim from someone close to the show. Bias much? You bet! We’ll still take it cause it’s real! Go check out Junkenstein’s blog and his new podcast, “Junk’s Trunk” which is ‘like a musical essay’ and really great. Victoria shares an article about a man who firebombed a Taco Bell due to a meat shortage in his Chalupa. We learn that China is now Cracking Down On Overly Entertaining TV. Victoria shares her ultimate shameber song. Click it, damn you! We end the show with Whore News about a topless woman that leads cops on a 200 km/hr chase. Now THAT’S a fast whore. Speaking of fast. We get this out in an hour, four minutes and nine seconds.
 

October 17, 2011

223: What Does Albino Smell Like?

Posted by uncast under Episodes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |
1 Comment 

223: What Does Albino Smell Like?

This week is a blend of chaos and cray cray. Starting with this year’s version of Shipyard Smashed Pumpkin Ale, we discuss medieval shit, eggnog, hiring a personal show butcher, mernimals and add Fish Bottom as a band name. First article of the week is about Clitoral Stimulation. We talk about albinos (hence the show title) and Victoria pens a novel titled: “How To Fuck A Mermaid: And Other Tails”.

Canadians voted for their Provincial Premiers and we discuss Canadian politics a bit. We also discuss Canadian Thanksgiving and the fun that comes with that each year. We celebrated here in the United States a bit by making the same dish. Tourtieres (meat pies) are quite tasty. Going back to politics, we learn about a politician that strips during a recent commercial.

Victoria comes strong with an Awesome List from heaven and we all enjoy a taste of the awesome. Our very dear friend, Annam Manthiram has written a book titled “After The Tsunami” and we’re going to be seeing her at a reading next month. We’re really proud of her and we want to push her book as much as we can. We discuss things parents say that just don’t make any sense. Rhian brings us whore news and everything is alright. First we learn that it is okay to be a porn star and a high school teacher. We also hear about a woman that wanted a male stripper for her 100th birthday. I hope I’m still that horny at 100. Hell, I hope I reach 100. Maybe. All this in an hour, seven minutes, thirty-eight seconds.

 

August 31, 2011

217: The Difficult Brown

Posted by uncast under Episodes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , |
Leave a Comment 
We jump all over a couple of Manzanita beers and rave on both. Victoria gets talking about “The Wire” and phrases she can’t stop saying. There’s a cake hotel for all of us. We share some cool quotes from a Twitter buddy. We hear a story of a Japanese cock glued to a man’s hand and the Handerpants that made his life so much easier. We learn Sinead O’Connor is horny and loves anal. This leads to debate over hating artists simply because it’s cool to hate them and whether that’s truly fair or not.

Rhi brings us a hoax warning that there’s a panda on the rampage. Rhi rounds it out with some Whore News! We learn about slores and the slut gene! We’ve kept this one a bit shorter for you since last week’s ran so long. It’s only 45 minutes!

 

August 16, 2011

214: I’m Gonna Get Cinnamon To Squat For Me

Posted by uncast under Episodes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |
Leave a Comment 

We start right off with racism, urination and riots. It gets weirder from there? Only you can say. Victoria reviews The Social Network and we discuss one of the births of the internet. Victoria brings us now well circulated “10 Reasons Why Bear Week Would Be Better Than Shark Week” including a picture.

Daniel shares five things you probably didn’t know about orgasms and we celebrate “Yadda Yadda Yadda” being added to the OED. This brings us to phrases we love to use. Easy transition to Food Truck Names and BAM! You get Smurf Talents! Rhian’s Whore News includes the false idea that a nicer apartment will get you laid by more women. 54 minutes in total.

 

July 5, 2011

210: Pump Me Full of Beer and iCarly

Posted by uncast under Episodes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |
Leave a Comment 

210: Pump Me Full of Beer and iCarly

Daniel’s sister, Rachel joins us for the summer! We go into a few TV shows we’re watching recently and a quick movie review. New York makes same sex marriage legal and we celebrate. We celebrate our “Jesus Birthday” this year. We play a cute phone message from a listener and future guest, Guitar Rob.

Victoria informs us that orcas and dolphins are the same. We also dscuss how they are assholes. Then we learn the ICP tries to put a stop to the UCB. Victoria brings an Awesome List and we’re all grateful! Rhian explains why Sims 3 is awesome and ways to cheat and “woohoo” in public. Malcolm runs for Mayor. A woman dies at her own funeral. We discuss baseball in Alaska and California pansies before diving into Whore News. This time a man joins the mile high club by himself!

 

April 22, 2011

204: All Yur Holes R Filled w/ Bad Puddins

Posted by uncast under Episodes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |
Leave a Comment 

204: All Yur Holes R Filled w/ Bad Puddins

Recorded April 10th, we start right off with an awesome beer from Irondale Brewery. Eunichs mess up Victoria’s head but we fix it with Corralejo resposado tequila. Eunichs as midgets? We move from eunichs to pregnant Juggalettes. Somehow this leads to a disturbing PSA. Warning, it’s worse than eunichs and pregnant Jugalettes.

I bring in things I learned from Podcasts. This includes but is not limited to new “facts” about St Patrick’s Day, STDs caught from Thrift Store clothes, sex with an epileptic at a rave and using Cadbury Eggs in ways they were not intended. Victoria gives an invite to all involving their exposed selves and dulce de leche. We have a question for the audience: Can you get throat STDs? I’m thinking herpes might be a possibility but what about others?

Beer of the Week: Irondale Brewery Johnny Mo’s Tres Vieux IPA (204): An unfiltered IPA, Victoria and Daniel love this beer! Great IPA. Rhian says it’s strong but tastes good and this is coming from a wine whore. Victoria says it smells like pot (hops anyone?) and Daniel keeps praising it. As IPAs go, one of our favorites and a solid 5 out of 6 if not higher.

Victoria brings up e-cigarettes and how they’re becoming popular among some of our friends, and raises them with the e-pipe. Birthday present idea: E-Pipe, smoking jacket and an ascot. Victoria asks question number two to the audience: What do Transformers Zombies eat? Rhian offers the theory that Transformer corpse disposal is the cause of the troubles in Japan right now.

Victoria Beckham is trying to name their youngst daughter “Santa”. Santa Beckham. Cause Beast-Man or Evil-Lynn was already taken, Skeletor? Nothing good can come of this! Daniel talks about the start of baseball, soccer and the NHL Playoffs. Victoria wrongly guesses that I have a thing for gold and green. I like ONE team with those colors! Pay more attention, whore! Talk of NFL mascots brings up hot dogs shot from guns like t-shirts. Cause no one wants to be hit in the eye by a hot weiner.

Rhian brings us an article and some Whore News. First up, The Onion parodies Canada. This brings up a fun CBC Special by Rick Mercer called “Talking To Americans”. We discuss how the Bloc Quebecois are corndogging it when it comes to life in general. We segue into whore news by discussing’s Rhian’s past “moments” with hockey players. We hear about Blood-Scented Perfume and how we’re Living In the Corgi Epoch. We end the show with an awesome Awesome List and say hi to all of our friends. Check out the shows on our sidebar. They’re awesome!

 

April 22, 2011

203: Licketty Shit

Posted by uncast under Episodes | Tags: , , , , , |
Leave a Comment 

203: Licketty Shit

Recorded April 2nd. We start the show right off with talk of hair metal talk. This is where Victoria learned her lesbian side. She liked the most girly hair bands and fell for the most girly members of the bands. The whores then go all “Bloodhound Gang” for the Nelson brothers. I even the score by outing my true Metallica fan history.

We go into school history including a bad dye job and getting kicked out of class. We briefly mention April Fool’s Day and move on to Rebecca Black. Rhian brings us Whore News, this time involving a MAN of the night! Gerard Butler gives HIS dick for free! Speaking of whores, we saw a couple of real messes at the pool in the Casa Complex.

The girls perform a test to see who’s boobs are bigger. We all advocate Uncast Parties. They then try to use Rhian’s moans as bribe to get anything Victoria wants. This quickly fails. Instead, we need to get Rhian some more long, uber soft, light pajama pants with lace trim at the bottom like La Senza used to sell. We discuss food servers: their looks and their manners. This stems from a shitty experience we had at our local El Torito. Victoria falls and we abruptly end the show without plugs or marketing or any of the like.

 

Next Page »

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.