295: So Insincere

We’re going to keep this short. We talk about The Oscars, San Diego getting a new hockey team, beer of the week, and at the end there’s a very important question for humanity.

294: I’m OK, I Got A Lolly

Length: 1:17:15

Should we take a bow? This was the first episode that we recorded this year…and it’s being released in mid-February. Daniel wins all the things! It starts with a funky bassline and ends with many a side-eye directed at Victoria, who tries to figure out the proper direction for a flushing toilet.

Beer of the week blends tea and hops for an awesome experience. NOT an awesome experience, whoever hurt Victoria early in life. That said, she’s killing it in this episode. Is alcohol a problem? You tell me. It won’t change our mindsets but you’re free to share your viewpoint on the issue. While you’re doing that, we’ll go on about how Butch doesn’t know how to touch a pussy properly. Of course this leads to some discussion about insecurities.

Let’s make things more comfortable, shall we? We’d like to introduce you to possible Unniversary stop, Streetcar Merchants of Chicken, Donuts and Coffee. Our discussion of this delecasy includes Mexican Coke and Cristal. Victoria starts “White Girl Learns” where she discusses hot sauces and Lucha Underground. Also, go read the “March” Graphic Novels by John Lewis. Also read “Carry Me Home” by Diane McWhorter and “Hellhound on His Trail” by Hampton Sides.

We discuss hugging comedians and somehow this brings us to the last subject of White Girl Learns: The Vajankle. WARNING: that Google search is most assuredly NSFW. Let’s put it this way: It caused Butch to walk out of our apartment.

Getting to more comfortable subjects, we talk about New Years weekend and our dinner at Buona Forchetta which is a wonderful Italian restaurant in San Diego. You might want to get a reservation. Don’t think you’re going to just walk up. My sister tries a Mai Tai for the first time and we discuss memories of the old Street Scene when it was actually held in the streets of downtown. We’ve all had those “I will not be that guy” moments in public.

293: Furry Fluffer: Sine Yo Dich Trickle Down Economics

We welcome in 2015 with the last episode recorded in 2014. Happy Santa Claus! Butch joins us to celebrate the holidays. We start off discussing the process of creating dickgiorno without risking injury. Beer of the week this episode was Saint Archer Coffee Brown. Was it worthy? Listen and find out. Here’s a clue: you should’ve paid more attention to imaginary numbers in Algebra.

We get into some relationship talk that takes “smell yo dick” to a new level. Why don’t elves fight back against the fat old white man? There’s some discussion as well of “white elephant” gifts. This had nothing to do with animals, the Philadelphia Athletics, or Santa Claus. It does, however, involve alcohol. The first annual “Don’t Call Me Whitey” Elephant Gift Exchange also included some epic gifts.

If you’re into hip-hop music at all, Ed Piskor started publishing an online comic series explaining the history of the genre through the eyes of those involved. This has turned into a very well produced printed version in graphic novel form. The Hip-Hop Family Tree series is amazing. Volumes 1 & 2 are already out covering the 70’s through 1983. Volume 3 (1983-1984) is on its way this year. Meanwhile, the online series continues. Check it out!

Bringing it back to sex questions, what does one do when they have a Fruit of the Loom fetish? Which fruit would you nail first? What if you want to be a furry fluffer? It’s not what you think. It isn’t about sex. It is about classism. She wants the fur from Barney’s of New York, not Barney’s of Springfield.

Wanting to get the conversation back to a topic that is much more comfortable, we end the episode with “Ask a Black.” Because in 2014, what topic is more cuddly and cute than that? We cover a few of those in the FAQ section and Victoria can’t even. zzz turn down [service] for what?

292: The Sweet Smell of Peppermint

Recorded on November 29th and releasing it December 11th. We ask some very important and disturbing questions about Santa. Answer as you will. Just be assured Victoria is trying to ruin the Winter holidays for everyone.

Victoria returns from Londontown and Daniel regails us with tales from his two weeks alone…or was he? Well there was all day beer runs and all night meat. Not as dirty as it sounds but one of those was protested by PETA. Props to San Diego Bottle Share and S&M Sausage & Meat! All that and I came out of the two weeks addicted…to…Skyrim. Yes. Skyrim.

We drink pumpkin ales and talk Thanksgiving. Daniel has what hopes to be his only bad trip to San Francisco and seriously, that Peppermint tho.

291: Glitter & Emetophilia

Hey if you think releasing an episode 2 weeks after recording was bad, try a full month. We truly hope that we still have listeners. In fact, let’s do that right now. If you still listen to the show, go to facebook.com/uncast OR email uncast.net@gmail.com and let us know. New meme, more people listen to Uncast than have died in America from Ebola.

Victoria goes through some ideas for Unniversary. It’ll be March 21, 2015. Plan accordingly. No excuses! Unless that excuse is “I don’t listen and I want no part of you and your hoodrat bullshit.” If it’s the latter, we understand. You’re dead to us anyways.

First order of business for Unniversary: bring the most derelict and the most awesome “American” treat you can think of and Andrea will have to try it during Unniversary. Best and worst snack will win a prize of some sort. It’ll be better than an Uncast shirt or a bag of condoms. Unless you’re into that sort of thing. Of course this also starts a conversation about various treats we loved as kids; both American and Mexican. Tamarind, chili, and sugar is awesome.

We went to Tony & Kristen’s wedding and we had an amazing time. My cousins came out to enjoy some beer for a day and after four breweries. Again, a great time was had by all. Shout out to Indian Joe Brewing and Karl Strauss. Also, Lost Abbey Brewing and Belching Beaver Brewing.

Victoria reads us a story about a threeway gone wrong. Not saying what happened but Meat Gin is a thing now. Read that as many times as needed to let it sink in. In the meantime, let’s discuss some Facebook bullshit. Yeah it really could be anything but it’s this shit. Somehow this reminds Vivi of the London Beer Flood.

Glitter is a horrible thing but now you can get pills that make you poop glitter. Victoria wants to shoot glitter into space. Somehow this ties into a semi truck with a naked woman riding in it, that hits a school bus. Guess that state. It did lead to Fitness Swingers. Don’t ask how. Just look it up. Or don’t.

Sportsing! The World Series has been determined but we recorded this when the NLCS had just ended. It was a fairy tale series of Royals vs Giants and in the end, the Marlins won? They’re owned by Jeffrey Loria so they’ll never win. Jeter > Mantle > Olbermann. We just needed to make that clear. Tired of Gawker bullying, Buzzfeed plagiarism, and Deadspin mansplaining? Go to the ClickHole!

Also May 2015 is coming up. Everyone find the best pair of shiny pants for MrDahonay’s next birthday! Speaking of my brofriend, we have beers this week. Also related, in China, a woman’s virginity is worth $5000. WTF people. Also WTF, don’t turn foods I like into dessert. No cappuccino chips. No hot dog flavored snacks. No mac n cheese ice cream. We don’t need no Bertie Bott’s Every Flavored Chip Bowl at Unniversary. Or do we?

290: Princess Cupcake Sparkles of Death

Yet again, an episode is released 2 weeks after it’s recorded. We start the show right off with tricksy Victoria who transitions from “Thanks Obama” to a black burger in Japan. This leads to an ebola mention and a discussion about 9/11. We’re not supposed to forget what happened in September 2011 but we did and we’re sorry. Either way, don’t use your brand to post about 9/11. We’re looking at you, Twix. It’s even too soon to make Arizona under water jokes on December 7th.

Speaking of terrorists, Victoria is not sure why the world is at war with Archer. They’re just trying to sell some cocaine. Give them some funding, they’ll be fine. Scotland. That’s a thing that happened. We discuss this before the vote and agree that Scotland needs to stay in the UK until they get their shit together.

BBQ weekend (aka Labor Day Weekend) was sweet! We played games, spent time with family, had some great food, some beer, and it was loads of fun. Victoria has a new hairdo and it looks awesome on her! To celebrate, let’s have some dirty gay porn! Send yours to uncast.net@gmail.com or simply read it to her at 619-940-4SEX!

We get into booktalk starting with VWars which Daniel liked but didn’t love. He’s also reading Raymond E. Feist’s “Magician” and Joe Abercrombie’s “The Blade Itself.” Victoria is getting into Haruki Murakami and started with “Norwegian Wood” which she loved. She also read “The Knife of Never Letting Go” by Patrick Ness. It’s harsh and intense for a book aimed at young teens. She loves “We Were Liars” by E. Lockhart. We won’t talk about it. Just read it. She also read “The Alchemist” which no one should read (which is why we don’t link to it). It’s a parable about a kid and living your dreams but it’s too unrealistic for those who didn’t grow up in a financially affluent situation.

The rest of the episode is crazy articles time! Links are below:
Two men arrested at same-sex marriage in Egypt, “test negative” for homosexuality. There’s a test for that now?
he Latest Weapon In The Fight Against Antibiotic Resistance Lives In The Vagina
Dominatrix speaking at Canadian Senate committee threatens to out politicians who use sex services if new backwards arse Conservative prostitution bill goes through.
Blundering IT worker who put his porn stash on city centre big screen is jailed
San Diego Unified School district now has a military vehicle to deal with truancies and miscreants

289: Filling All Your Churros
“It’s okay to take advantage of a sleeping churro!”

Recorded August 23rd and released today. We briefly mention Ferguson and we discuss the passing of Robin Williams. THAT is how long it’s been. We apologize. Also, since we’re releasing this during National Suicide Prevention Week, so I must put this here. 1-800-273-8255. If life ever becomes too much, give that number a call. We also discuss the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge and the good that it has done while it was viral. We look forward to seeing similar viral campaigns to bring awareness to health issues that could also use a bit more understanding from the general public and funding for research and support.

Let’s get to the fun shit! We enjoyed our 15th Wedding Anniversary last month. It was an epic night of Eclipse Chocolate for dinner (eat dessert first!) followed by Stone beer and Brabant for cocktails. Victoria also discovers a major secret that Andrea has been keeping from her. Stephen Fry classes up sucking one’s own cock. On the same note, Norwich City beat Ipswich Town to win the first leg of the East Anglia derby. We discuss absinthe and something that brings up why Sarah McLachlan is music’s Michael Vick. This may be due to Victoria being on the 4th beer in the day and she starts interrupting with random tunes.

Victoria got a new haircut. We went to BNS Brewery. Also known as Klan State Brewniversity. They don’t call 9-1-1. So, don’t have a heart attack or choke. They will shoot you. We did go to Urbn St Brewing though and they have our favorite pizza in San Diego county BY FAR. Their IPA is also one of the best in a county known for an over-abundance.

We got a Lootcrate that included a Funko GROOT doll. We took the in-laws to Puesto and Daniel got himself a very fine hat. We also found Kitson, which – Like Babette Schwartz – is one of those stores where you see a million things you want but nothing you truly NEED. Flame eater talks too much. Victoria wants to start a new version of Cards Against Humanity because our regular set, even with 4 expansions, is starting to get old. So she’s created a new way to play.

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